I slept in a little this morning.  The house was freezing cold, and I was all snuggled in my bed with Nick, my 19-year old cat at my feet.  It’s no wonder I couldn’t force myself up.  When I finally succumbed to the fact I couldn’t stay in bed all day, I  came out to the freezing dining room and opened my email, Yahoo reported it was -15.  Now that’s just too cold for man or beast!  I have ALWAYS been able to get in the hot tub since I’ve had it the past 4 years.  Even a blizzard didn’t keep me out, but this one is just WAY too cold.  Oh, the water remains 103, but my face would be frost bitten by mere exposure!   I can’t wait for it to warm up a bit so I can get back in.  I heard from a guy in Alaska that shares on a board I frequent that the temp changes in his area went from -40 to 55 degrees in 24 hours!  Like an 80  degree change of temps!  That’s crazy!  I’d probably be lying out in the sun if that happened here!  *laughs*

So I got up and began my day.  The past few days have been “organizational” days. I go through these periods of time where I am determined to get all my finances, and rental records in order!  I had some business correspondence I had  procrastinated on so I wrote those letters, one not so nice by the way, and then I tried to organize rental records for my accountant I must see before long.  Basically, things I HATE to do in life!  Perhaps it’s because I’ve managed so many other’s accounts over the years.  The last thing I want to do is come home and do it.  But I must……………and sometimes we have to do that of which, well you know.

Perhaps it’s the winter thing once again (I tend to blame everything on winter), but I find myself feeling that “restless” feeling that so often comes over me.  It’s like I don’t want to stay here, and then a part of me thinks I should stay here.  When I say “here” I mean the property.  Sometimes I get really irritable about it too.  Like I am stuck here………….I know, I’ve talked about this forever, explaining it as feeling like George Bailey in “It’s A Wonderful Life.”  How can one person be so divided in her thinking?

So here is the division.  I want to be in the city. I want to move on, expand my wings, grow!  I want to be close to my kids, well 2 of them anyway, and I want new experiences!  Meeting new people, a house that is me!  Where I have room to grow and do what I dream of doing.  Oh how I’d love to have the dream house I see in my mind’s eye but have never found.  Then there is the “serious, prophetic” side of me.  I am on near 10 acres (so the original deed says), on a pond with fresh water, and a creek that runs through the forest.  I’m in an area where I could in fact have livestock and horses.  Growing food on all this land would be very easy, and if things get really tough, I’d have fish for food and access to water.  In other words, I am one of those that believe we haven’t begun to see the worst of what is coming.  I don’t want to accept it anymore than most, but like so many other things, I have a hard time denying what I know from within, and I DO believe these times are almost amongst us!  These thoughts make me want to stay right here……………..not growing and moving on.  But then there is that free spirit in me that wants to run!  *SIGHS* I am a person of double-mindness! Running in all sorts of circles of I could do this, or that?  Don’t take it I’m depressed, because I’m not, just restless. So incredibly restless!!

My dream life lately has been amazingly clear. I do this when I am in very deep spiritual times with God.  A few mornings ago I had a dream where I was given 5 sets of numbers. I believe I was given lottery ticket numbers. I don’t play the lottery and had NO idea how many sets of numbers you have to choose, but in the dream I was given 5 numbers.  They were read off to me slowly in the dream, enough so that even now, 4 days later I still hear these numbers.  In the dream, I got up, ran to my cell phone, called Dell and said, “Write these numbers down!  We are going to win the lottery!”  It was that clear! And here’s even the weirder part……………..right before the numbers were given me I saw a door with a BRIGHT 11:11 in red written on it!  There was an arrow pointing down, as if to open the door and go in.  After that was when the numbers were given to me so clear!

When I awakened I of course ran to write the numbers down, like I’d forget them or something!  Then I decided since I had called Dell in the dream, I needed to call him and say what I had in the dream.  He’s learned to take my dreams serious.  “That’s so weird Sunshine!”  He said.  “I was doing something the other day and the thought suddenly came to me I was about to win $180,000,000.00! (That’s one-hundred-eighty-million.)  “You’re kidding?”  “No, I’m not, and what is even weirder was last night when I went to get gas the guy at the gas station said to me, “Let me sell you some lottery tickets!”  I thought that was weird because the thought of winning a couple days earlier was so strong it was still with me!”  Of course my head began swimming too!  Well, we better see what the Powerball was worth!  I told him.  If it was near $180 million I would have flipped!  Of course Dell wrote the numbers down and I began dreaming what I’d do with the money!  Only I found myself not really thinking anything for me, but mostly for my friends!  I’ll tell you I’d have some really happy friends that’s for sure!  Was it then I thought to myself this wouldn’t really be my money anyway, because God gave me the numbers……………I’d have to truly see what He would have me do.

It was then I began to think of a story I read awhile back.  There’s a woman in Egypt who is a very strong Christian.  She became Christian approximately 5 years ago.  In Egypt you DON’T convert from Muslim to Christianity as to do so is often a death-sentence, or at the very least persecution of the type I cannot begin to fathom.  After 5 years of horrific persecution, she and her husband tried to escape Egypt.  They were caught at almost the boarder and taken in custody by some very ruthless police officers.  According to this story published by a human rights organization,  she has been sexually abused, her husband is held someplace she is not aware of, and the worst part is until she will renounce her faith in Jesus, they are withholding food from her 2 and 4 year old children!  Yes, literally starving them to death!  I have been so torn up by the story for the longest time trying to figure out how I can help this woman.  I pray for her daily, I pray for her children, I pray for her husband, and I also pray for her captures!  You have to, it’s the way I believe anyway.  So I thought to myself the first thing I’d do is find someone to go to Egypt and offer this woman’s captures millions of dollars to release her!  (Everyone has their price, right?)  Then I’d try to sponsor her here in the USA and set her up in a house, etc.  That would be the first thing I’d DO!  So my dream fell around trying to help her and those poor children.  I just can’t imagine what she must be going through.  The sad thing is I probably will never be able to follow up on what happens to her if the person who wrote about this story never posts any outcomes.  But in my dream of winning a lottery of millions of dollars, she is the first one I’d help.

And then of course my friends!  I would go get beautiful greeting cards about how special they are to me and write them each a million dollar check.  Don’t even think I wouldn’t, because I would!

And then my children would get many millions too!

And finally, when I got around to it……………….I would build me a beautiful log home in Tennessee.  Oh, this is so new, isn’t it?  ME!  Who always wanted to be in Florida, or on the shores of Cape Hatteras in the Outer Banks, suddenly wants a log cabin in the area of Gatlinburg, TN.  Don’t ask me where it’s coming from but it’s my newest place of paradise! Or so I found my dreams going.

I’m sure Dell was having his own set of dreams of which we have never shared to this day.  I wonder where he sees himself living?  What he’s doing?  I’m sure wherever it would be it would involve tractors!  (No cynicism, I promise as dreams are as individual as what each of us are made to be!)

I managed to dream and spend $180 million through the day that day.  Until Dell called and said, “Um Sunshine, are you sure you heard correctly?”  “Yeah Dell, I did, why?”  “Because Sunshine, the highest number on the lottery is 59.”  The first number given me was 69.   All other numbers were below 59, but the first was 69.  “Dell, play 59!  Maybe I didn’t hear correctly!”  He disagreed with me, went ahead and bought 2 Powerball tickets, letting the computer pick randomly.  The jockpot was at $146 million, not $180.  So, this week if no one won, I will be watching and if it approaches $180, I will be buying my own ticket, using the 59 vs. the 69 (it seems TOO coincidental to me that the highest number is 59) and using the other 4 numbers I was given.  I wasn’t given the Powerball number, but it seems as if I already know it.  Sometimes I just don’t understand Dell!  Oh well, must not have meant to be because my numbers didn’t win “this week.”  Perhaps the dream is telling for a future time?  Where’s my faith? Do I play, or don’t I?

Now with all of that being said and everyone saying, “Yes, play!” Knowing my dreams in the past have been very prophetic…………….I had one this morning which was not too good.  My doctor told me I had a dreaded disease in the dream.  Funny tho, when he told me the words I was okay with it, like I knew God would take care of it.  When I awakened God whispered clearly to me that I am going to be okay, I still have a LOT of race to run.  I believe those words and won’t try to figure out the dream. Perhaps it all comes from these looming tests I need to take next week.

What an interesting journal this has turned out to be. I wonder if everyone else has ever thought what they’d do if they won $180 million?  What I seem to see in my dream was giving most of it away, except for my log home in the foot hills of TN, where I could drive to the ocean in 8 hours, and to Florida in about 10.  Just a simple place of peace where I’m surrounded with things I have now………….furniture built just for me, things that are old and faded and yet very warm and comforting to me.   I’d be surrounded in God’s artwork of beauty in the valley of mountains, blue skies, and still enough of four-seasons to allow change in my life, where I appreciate summer all the more because of winter.  The dream continues…………………

And you know when I talk about it, much as I don’t like -15 actual air temps, days as today will sure make me appreciate those summer breezy nights where  I sit on my deck, overlooking the forest as the frogs and crickets sing their summer song………….I guess the balance of life was designed by God for a reason.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  So would you come visit me in my new log home in TN if I did in fact have a prophetic dream?  LOL!  I’d welcome you and your wife and would be honored to have the both of you! (If you’re gonna dream, DREAM BIG!) And you and I could still share this wonderful connection we have, and know that each of us is there for the other no matter what.  A part of me wonders why we could never establish that relationship anyway.  With no expectations, it’d sure be wonderful to know that you would be there if I reached out for my friend, and that I would be there for you if you reached out for your friend.  Perhaps one day we will find a way to establish that it’s okay to be friends……………………..and no one breaks the rules.  I send you love and light……………you would always be welcomed in my world.  Just because I now understand what real love is.  Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine