I’m just in from the hot tub where I soaked away a LONG trip home from the city tonight.  Half way home the snow blew and fell, as the roads became lightly dusted making it hard to see and determine how slick it might be.  You have the drivers that are overly cautious *me* And then you have the ones I affectionately refer to as “idiots!”  I was SO glad when I got home, I realized how tense I had been the whole drive home.  But the hot tub was soothing and calming as I sat out there in my sock hat with the snow hitting my face and talked to God.

Dell and I had headed down there late this afternoon to meet Amy, Chad, the girls, and Jason and Susie.  We were celebrating Jason’s 30^th birthday which happened last Thursday.  He is due to be a father any day and somehow his birthday, a big one at that, went by unnoticed for the most part. I wanted to give him a celebration of some sort, so we all went to dinner, and I took a cake to his house afterwards. It was a nice time, tho we all know any day now things will once again change as a new life comes into our world.  “Mom, I can’t believe you’re about to have 5 grandkids!”  He kept saying tonight.  “ME EITHER! Especially since I’m still only 25!”  It’s true, I am stuck in some sort of time warp or something of my mid 20s.  If only everything else about me was there too!  You know like the body physic and so on!  I don’t feel any different………….perhaps a little wiser as time goes on, but the main thing……………I’m still just me.

Hey, I was on the floor tonight (amazing with the pain I am in these days), playing blocks with Skylar and Bree.  I’m SO determined not to be slowed down.  The three of us had fun trying to build our blocks high.  I’m not a baby person, but I sure do love the 2-year olds and above.  By teenager years (if we all tarry) I will be the coolest mee maw because I will have hundreds of stories to share with them.  But for now we simply will build blocks as high as we can.

Dell and I had a talk on the way to the city about my writing abilities.  He just can’t understand why I’m not putting out novel after novel!  He has a million ideas on what I should be doing, but he often ignores what it is I have the most passion about………….and that is this journey I am walking and the story of the past 10 years.  How do I make him understand?

As we were talking I thought about the story I shared in last night’s journal.  About twin soul/ and near twin. When I look over my history I think it becomes quite apparent that I’ve always felt something missing in my life.  It’s true, I have.   I found it, but it wasn’t meant to be at this time in my life, tho as always I remain with a feeling that no one knows what tomorrow holds.  Sometimes I feel so bad because I wish I could just be a normal person.  Satisfied just being where I am and where I may be.  But I am what God made me to be, and somewhere within me is a never-ending dream.

With that I feel my eyes heavier than ever!  The hot tub must have done it’s job!  As I close my eyes to fall asleep in just a few minutes tho, I will simply pray that no matter where I am, or what the plans are, all I really want in life is to know I am following God’s love and light to lead me on.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  From a world of wonder, and mystery, and a heart that truly loves in so many ways, I send you love and light.  You will always be my special someone, out there, somewhere…………………….and I wish you a beautiful goodnight.  Love, Sunshine