I’m just in from the hot tub and St. Louis.  Not necessarily in that order.  It’s been a very rushed weekend, it feels good to be home and in a quiet atmosphere.

I didn’t know until Thursday that this was the weekend we’d be taking Emma her car and animals.  We had an idea, but until the body shop called to say it was finished, we were all on hold.  They were in their wreck December 22, and they didn’t get their car repaired until January 22.  A long time I’m sure for Emma to go without her car.  Especially considering Joel is gone right now at officer school.  She also had to go without their dog, Grace *pic below* and their cat, Fuzzie.  Those guys were VERY happy to be going home!

It’s been such a whirlwind!  Non-stop since Thursday night of trying to make arrangements to drive the 70 miles to pick up their car, then make hotel reservations in St. Louis where we could take animals, then making arrangements for my dogs who just couldn’t go on this trip!  St. Louis is about a 5-hour drive for me, 6-hour drive for Emma.  The good news was I would get to spend some time with Drew.  Normally all three grandkids are around when he is so I did look forward to some time with just him.  That part of the trip was nice.  Here we are at breakfast this morning:

I finally found a hotel in St. Charles, which happens to be one of those places I LOVE to go!  The first capital of Missouri, downtown St. Charles is filled with shops of specialty items and crafts and rustic things.  I had hoped to be able to go to some shops but time didn’t allow.  Here is a photo of downtown St. Charles and the step-back-in-time feeling.  Warm, quaint, and peaceful. 

As I said it was a whirlwind trip.  I did a lot of spiritual time on the way there, actually reading my Bible most of the way.  Dell drove, and I spiritually sought a lot of things. I’ve decided to read the Bible again in a year.  Anytime I have done this in years past I discovered I’d grow more than I ever had.  Many don’t take the Bible to be real, I know, but for me, I discover more spiritual truths in this place than I could begin to explain.  I feel how much I grew just by reading on the way to St. Louis and on the way back. I like this place.  I don’t know why I got away from it the past few years as I have.  But I’m back, back to my roots.  And it feels so peaceful for me.

I still haven’t gotten the results of the MRI.  My doctor’s office is in the process of moving so they were closed on Friday, and will be closed tomorrow too.  This means I will have to wait until probably Tuesday to get the results.  The thing is tho I have such peace about it.  To be honest I have been so busy this weekend, and since last Thursday, I haven’t hardly thought about it.  I guess something happened when I was seeking God last week where I just knew that all was well, or I was going to be well, and I was not to worry about this.  We’re not supposed to worry anyway, but being human as I am, something like this can be a real battle.   And it was at the beginning. As I said the last time I wrote, anytime someone says you have a “mass” anywhere in your body, it’s scary words.  But the faith kicked in and I know I have a lot of journey in front of me, so I focus on those things God has shown me I was sent here to accomplish. And I believe it’s true.  As soon as I know the results, I will write about them, I promise.

Speaking of writing, the past week has been probably one of the most incredible spiritual times for quite awhile.  Bible reading, lots of quiet meditation, even tho on the go, and an indoor pool have blessed me beyond words the past week!  Yes, there was an awesome pool in the hotel we stayed.  Last night we took Drew swimming, as I worked out.  Sometimes I’d carry him with me on my laps, as a weight training of sorts, and then sometimes Emma and Dell played in the water with him.  My swimming workout quickly became a spiritual time for me.  Then this morning I woke up at 6:00am, St. Louis time, got my suit on and was in the pool by 7:15am working out for the next 45 minutes.  The work out was more a meditative workout in the pool.  I couldn’t believe the things God was sharing with me!  Mostly about the book I’ve yet to write, and just haven’t known where to go with it.  He is slowly showing me tho!  Wow!  The things He is showing me!  By the time I was through working out in the pool I was beginning to understand.  You know what this reminds me of?  It’s like when he told me to begin a website.  It took a year to finish the project, as I had NO clue what I was supposed to do nor how to do it……….several years later, this is where it took me. To this place!  Now, He is showing me the book, and how it is to be done.  I was SO excited!

The thing is tho, my journals for awhile may be sporadic.  Simply because I may be focusing more on the getting the book done…………but I will still be here, just maybe not every day as I did for 4 years.  I must get this book started and completed, it’s what I’ve seen now, and I believe. I believe!!

My life has sure been in the hanging……………. someone recently said this to me as I tried to describe the million different directions I sometimes see.  But for now, God keeps reminding me of these things:  Don’t detest the small beginnings, take one day at a time, and let go of selfish ambition for it isn’t about you, but it’s about something much bigger.  3 very important things He is asking me to focus on.  So as I feel life in the hanging…………….God is giving me 3 steps He wants me to focus on as I go on the journey.

And I am and I will.  And I will assure everyone that I am okay.  Yes, I will be glad when the results come back to prove what it is I know in my spirit, but until then I walk on, and feeling pretty awesome that I do get to walk this out in faith.  And I get to share it!  With you!  What faith looks like, and feels like and where it comes from.  A silent trust that Father God whispers to me those things I need to know, and those whispers assure me, all is well.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Will I ever know?  Like everything else in my life I walk in faith believing what I know from within my heart…………….it still whispers yes, it is you.  So I cast the biggest wish out into the universe that love and light will fall all around you at this moment.  Wherever you may be.  I still believe in this special connection we share……………..through space and time and distance, but it’s buried in good place in my heart now.  In quiet trust that it is all about so much more than I ever really understood.  Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine

Tonight's song has a special meaning behind it to me.  As we were traveling home this afternoon, we stopped at my favorite "Pueblo" store.  I was in an extremely spiritual place as my whole day had been spent seeking God and talking to Him about some really deep subjects.  The gal in the store had this CD playing, the song playing was, "The Dance" by Robert Mirabal.  I asked her who was playing as the words were almost screaming out to me what God and I were talking about earlier.  Sometimes there are no answers, but there is always the dance of love and hope.  This song really touched my heart today.