It’s really early Saturday morning. A normal time you’d find me sound asleep, but I forgot to shut off the alarm on my cell phone on Saturdays, which I had set to leave for St. Louis last week. I decided to go ahead and get up.  I’m going to head to the pool after I write here and get a work out in before my day begins.  We’ll head to the city early this afternoon for Chad’s birthday dinner, his birthday being Tuesday.  18 of us are expected to be there.

Yesterday was yet another day on the go. I worked in the morning.  My boss and I had gotten in some trouble, a long story of which I feel was very unfair I was brought into, but I was.  I think it was wrong that she got in trouble for this too…………..but we both did.  I sort of laugh to myself, have I ever had a boss get me in trouble?  In days gone by I would have probably been livid over the treatment of her and me, but I’m still working on the “don’t sweat the small stuff” thing and actually find a little humor in it.  Now my boss!  She’s livid.  But we’ll both go on, questioning why some policies are so outrages, and learning to just keep certain things between ourselves.

After work I met Jane and Dell for lunch.  A place I could vent about the job for just a moment of which they both rolled their eyes, “You’re kidding?!”  They both said.  Somehow we got on the conversation how my job isn’t really where I belong.  And this topic on how I am meant to do something I’m just not finding it!  We all agree…………but where and what?  What am I supposed to be doing? I know it in my heart, why can’t I find it?  Jane totally agrees, as does Dell.

From lunch I asked Jane to go back to the country/rustic store where I had purchased my new chandelier the day before to return two of the “battery” operated candles that didn’t work.  She was thrilled to go again! I said I’d pick her up at her house.  First I had to go back to the medical clinic as they had called and didn’t get enough blood yesterday to complete the tests the doctor had ordered.

I have horrible veins!  To get blood from me is like the ole’ saying, “You can’t get blood from a turnip!”  Not that I want to be compared to a turnip, but I guess if the shoe fits……..well they had to go in my hand yesterday for the first blood withdraw.  While there yesterday they couldn’t go in to that hand again, and the other hand showed no signs of a good vein.  She ended up finding one by my elbow on the side.  A normal place NOT to take blood!  This morning I have a HUGE bruise as this is such a tender place, but it is believed they got enough blood now to complete that of which was ordered by my new Rheumatologist.   He had ordered medication for me that I picked up last night.  I took it at dinner and tho I still hurt, it was a LOT better from whatever he gave me. Tho this morning the stiffness and pain returned. I’m hoping getting in the pool will bring relief.  I’m really tired of whatever this is and HOPE they can find what is causing it. Tho I wonder, can you diagnose spiritual stuff?

Jane and I had another nice time driving north to our newest obsession store!  We are both so into country/rustic things!  They have a no return policy, but I just bought these electric candles yesterday!  It turns out that “Duracell” batteries are a little bit too thick to make the connection.  When she put her “cheap” dollar store batteries in, they worked right away.  Go figure!  Jane and I shopped, and we both once again spent way too much money! *sighs*  I bought another “inspirational” wall hanging that says, “Take time for the quiet moments, as God whispers and the world is loud.”  I look around my house now and realize how many of these wall hangings I have.  I guess my house is filled with inspiration if you were to come in and look.  When I think of it, my inner being would be the same way too if you could come in and see the inside of me, so I guess the house reflects me.  Isn’t it supposed to be that way?  Well, here is my latest addition to show who I am, my new chandelier above my dining table.  Remember the candles are battery operated which are awesome!  They will burn on the batteries for 700 hours!  I like the ambiance of old and worn and the peaceful feeling it gives me.  Remember, the furniture you see, table and hutch were all built by Dell. He is quite a talented woodworker:

As Jane and I drove home I took her the long way home through the country. I have found the house I would call my dream house. This is the house I saw or one like it in a vision a few years ago when I asked God to show me the house He had for me.  This has been almost 3 years ago now!  I found this house about a year ago when Sam, Dell’s brother was so sick with the brain cancer.  It jumped out at me.  “That’s it! The house I saw in the vision!!”  Not that I think this is the actual house, but it was what I had seen.  I wanted Jane to see it so I took her by it on the way home.  Why does this place feel so home to me?  I really don’t believe it is THIS house, but it’s everything I did see in the vision.  It makes me feel so restless, like I have to go find the one God has for me. It’s someplace, somewhere.  After I dropped Jane off, I just felt as if I had to go looking!   So I drove around certain parts of my hometown, and as I looked, I suddenly found out I was talking to myself, or perhaps God.  “What am I looking for? I am looking for something!”  What am I looking for?  Perhaps this is the beginning of being set free?  Just knowing that I am in fact looking for something.  I came home and began looking at houses on the market in the city.  I didn’t find there what I was looking for either.  Sometimes things happen in God’s timing not ours. I know this…………….so all I can think is He’s preparing me, or putting this restlessness within me so that I forge through a very STUCK place in my life! 

I go back to the writing and how I am not completing the book as need be.  Perhaps this is His sign to me that is my destiny?  Or perhaps He is teaching me something else I haven’t quite heard Him whispering to me?  Last night rather than journal I sat down and read my Bible for a very long time.  Seeking.  Seeking from within what it is I am looking for ……………..something, wandering…………….just wandering on the journey right now.  Something is out there that’s waiting.  What is it?  So I shall seek.  Perhaps my Bible reading time last night was much needed. Perhaps I was following the advice of my newest wall hanging? “Take time for the quiet moments as God whispers…………….. and the world is loud.”  A great thought to close on this morning as I go get ready to head to the pool for a walk through the water and time to be still to hear God’s whispers.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Have a beautiful day!

Sunshine

Wishing you a beautiful day Soul Mate!  I wish you the most beautiful of days wherever you may be…………………..just know you always  in my heart in a new and very special way.  Wow, life just doesn’t make sense to me sometimes, ya know?  But then I remember, “Oh yeah! It’s a journey! A journey of faith and it’s not supposed to make sense!”  You fall under this category.  J  And you know, it’s probably a pretty good place to be!    I send you love and light as I watch the sun rise and feel the peace of stillness all around me.  Be blessed my friend so far away and yet so close too.  Love, Sunshine