This will be one of those “it’s so late to start” journals where I don’t have the time nor energy to proofread, so please, understand as you begin there may be some mistakes.

It’s been a few days since I’ve written.  I’ve had Skylar since Thursday.  My work schedule once again go messed up whereas I worked Thursday morning, vs. Friday, which was a great opportunity for me to have Skylar for a very long weekend.  I called Amy,  “Can Skylar come stay with me for a few days?”  Skylar was THRILLED!  So I headed for the city to pick her up.  She had gymnastics on Thursday night, so I went for the treat of watching her, then we drove home to “mee maw’s” house.  I had bought her two games,  A Princess Matching Card Game, where you turn the cards over and try to match them to see who earns the most matches, and Candyland. 

Ahhhh…………..Candyland.  My favorite game as a child, I still remember playing with my DeeGee (maternal Grandma).  Well, I needed to introduce this to Skylar, and later Bree, Drew, and the two girls on the way now.  The only thing I didn’t realize was how addicted Skylar would become to it. I have now played endless rounds of Candyland!  But I know that our last three days together have truly been quality time.  We laughed, we teased each other and we hung out.

Big girl lunch with Jane at Olive Gardens on Friday, then take lunch to BaPa…….then to the park with Pete and Lilly for endless fun (it seemed on a fairly sunny winter day) as Skylar rode about every slide there…….more than once!  Then it was off for ice cream and home to play Candyland!

Saturday found us exploring in Dell’s hometown.  Valentine’s Day was hard for him this year as it was a year ago we buried his brother Sam, on Valentine’s Day.  After roaming around an old trading post between the white man and Native Americans, we headed for Sam’s burial site. Poor Dell, he was so shook up. Then we both felt bad as we remembered his wife, so we headed out to Kate’s house to try to talk her into going to dinner with the 3 of us.  She had said yes but at the last minute as we were ready to leave she began to cry and said she just couldn’t do it.  “There will be too many couples there celebrating, and I just can’t face it tonight.”  We understood, offering to bring her food, but she refused.  She is now all of 90#s I’d guess, but what do you do?  We went and ate, then back to her house where we hung out with her until after 11:00, letting her talk about whatever she wanted to talk about. Skylar was good as gold!  She planted herself in front of a cartoon channel and allowed us the time to try to help Kate get through the sadness of the day she so remembers a year ago.  Dell at the same time had his own demons to face. I think it is good they got to share their grief together.

Today was take Skylar home.  I got up super early so I could head to the pool. It’d been 3 days since I’d worked out, and I REALLY don’t want to go that long!  Regardless that it was Sunday (when I should have been headed to church), I headed to the pool to work out for 50 minutes.

It was an awesome time.  Spiritual time!  So many things I hear God speak to my heart right now and while I still feel stuck where I am, I don’t too………….because I am so learning to trust.  The things He is speaking to me are so very clear at the moment make me understand that I truly do need to be still a whole lot more than I am most of the time to hear what He is speaking.

I have another grandchild on the way who could be born at ANY moment!  My daughter-in-law was actually due the 7^th of February, then they said the 12^th.  She (they tell us it’s a girl) is still is not here, so they have decided that they will induce labor on the 17^th, which is Tuesday.  The doctor has explained this can be a lengthy process, so the baby will more than likely be born on the 18^th, outside chance it could be the 19^th.  Why do I know it’s going to be February 19?  If this happens, you will probably have to pick me off a floor, completely convinced that synchronicity is the most incredible happening thing!  Why?  Well, someone that is very special to me was born on that day……………………..I’m sure she’ll be born on the 18^th, but what if????????  Would that mean anything or would it be considered mere coincidence?  Is life just a totally bizarre thing or what?

Speaking of which! Lately, the coincidences surrounding this journey I am walking, this story I am writing, are becoming almost bizarre!  I always think I have to get over this, I have to get over this…………………..but as I do, something of the most bizarre nature suddenly springs up to “get my attention!”  There are times I just want life to be normal again!  Where I didn’t have all these coincidences happen to where I know I have to listen to my heart.  Those times rational thinking ruled my whole being!  But is faith rational?  Wasn’t there a time God told me I was ready to embark upon a journey and that it would take all the faith I could imagine?  No, I don’t believe faith is rational as it is believing in that which can’t be seen, but knowing all the same it is.

So many more thoughts from my few days of absence…………………thoughts of a very spiritual nature, thoughts of what love is and isn’t, thoughts of lessons learned, and a WHOLE lot of thoughts of Candyland!

As I close tonight I will share some photos of Skylar and I from this weekend, just because I think that it is so special the fun we share together, as I remember when she was born, the miracle it was that she survived.  What you see in Skylar is a complete miracle of God………and what you see in me is the knowing that God truly did send this child into my life to teach me so many things about faith when she entered this world.

At the park on Friday, Skylar pretended she was riding the horses with Pete and Lilly pulling her............ I LOVE this photo as you can see the sunbeams falling on each side of her, which I almost believe I see the angels watching over her.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Believe it or not I do miss talking to you when I’m not here. But it doesn’t mean I don’t whisper to you or wonder if you are okay.  But mostly I still pray for you. With all my heart I pray for you.  And believe it or not I still really do question whether it is you here.  There are so many reasons to believe it is, but then there are so many reasons to not understand why you would still come……..but then you are part of my journey of faith…………….trying to understand the whys and hows, and wheres…………………..in the end I know one thing………………..I must trust that if it is meant to be, it will happen one day or something, but for now the important thing is to continue to hold you in my heart and send you love and light, wherever you may be, I will always be here to do that. And you know what?  God told me to continue and not grow weary…………there is a reason for all of this, so I trust.  I so very much trust because I know, it’s a journey of faith.  Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine