Good evening;

Wasn’t it just this morning I wrote?

I worked all day. I had prayed a spirit of peace before I went to the office, instead I think I should have prayed a peaceful spirit for me. I wasn’t in the best of moods today. I was actually pretty crabby I think.  I felt irritated. Not for any reason other than it must have just been one of those “biorhythm” days or however that goes.

It’s pretty early as I sit to write. 9:30pm.  My goal is to be in bed by 10:00 in case Jason calls and says it is time.  Of course he lives in the city so should this happen overnight, I will have an hour drive.  My gut says it won’t.  In that case the plan is for me to head to the hospital about 7:00am in the morning. Amy will meet me there and spend the day with me. They are supposed to induce labor sometime tomorrow morning.  How long it takes is anyone’s guess.  Sometimes inducing works, and sometimes it doesn’t. If it doesn’t work tomorrow, they plan to do a C-section on Thursday. Yes, February 19. 

I have a lot of thoughts as one more grandbaby comes into the world. I always have these thoughts when I watch a new baby enter earth.  I’ve been praying for her for months now, as I pray for Joel and Emma’s little girl that will arrive in June.  Babies everywhere, I swear!  But for now, the focus is on the one due to arrive in a matter of hours.  What will she be like?  What is her purpose?  Will she and I be close?  What can I teach her?  Yes, I think all these things and my only prayer for her, as I pray for Skylar, Drew, Bree, and baby 2 still not here, is that they grow strong and tall in the Lord, and that they are blessed coming in and going out. Also a prayer that God sends angels to watch over and protect them.

Sometimes I wonder where she is right now.  Spiritually has she arrived in her new little body?  Or does that happen as she is born? I’ve heard stories of souls crossing before.  One story that really touched me I read a few years ago.  Here’s the story It’s been a long time so I don’t remember the real names so I have made names up as I think I remember.)

Little Peter was 5 years old.  His mom who was 6-months pregnant found him floating in the swimming pool.  He had drown!  She was absolutely devastated!!!  Peter was NOT allowed near the pool in their backyard, and for sure wasn’t allowed to get in without his parents!  Why had he disobeyed her?

As any parent would be, she was beyond depressed.   Life had to go on as she had one on the way, so she tried to remain strong.  She felt guilt in a lot of ways as she had not taught Peter sternly enough to never go into the pool alone.  When the baby was born, it was a little boy.  She named him Tommy.

The next few years she fell into deep depression.  She just couldn’t get over the loss of Peter.  When Tommy was about 3-years old and finally talking where he could make some sense, one afternoon he came up to his mommy and said, “Mommy don’t be sad about  Peter anymore.  He wanted me to tell you that he hadn’t gone swimming, but he was playing ball and tripped, hit his head and then fell into the pool. He said he’d be okay and happy and to tell you mommy.”  The mom was SHOCKED!  She had NEVER, EVER mentioned Peter to Tommy, as neither had her husband nor grandparents.  She never felt she was ready to explain how he had an older brother.  “How do you know this Tommy?”  She asked him.  “Because as I was coming down, he was going up and we crossed paths and talked, and that is what he wanted me to tell you.”  With that little Tommy went back to playing and never brought it up again.  The mom said she was healed of all the guilt and grief that day and felt as if the answers that caused her to feel so bad for so long were suddenly gone.

I read this story in some magazine.  It touched me because I’ve sort of really come to believe that we do in fact come from heaven to earth and we’re not just *poof* created out of nowhere, or when our parents have sex. (sorry, best way I can describe it.)  I do believe we come here on a journey, and this story just seemed to prove this to me.

Now that I have digressed beyond belief, back to grandbaby #4 that will be born tomorrow or the next day.  I so wonder the mysteries of where she might be at the moment.  And my thoughts just go to her, as do my prayers for her, her mommy and daddy too as I am sure as they sit in the hospital tonight they both feel quite anxious over the birth of their first child.

I wonder if my own mood of “irritability” today was related to all the tension of another major change in my life soon to happen?

After a LONG day at work I headed home and decided to take the water aerobics class tonight vs. power walking in the pool.  Why do I ALWAYS forget how STRENOUS water aerobics is?  I’ve been working out enough that my legs and lower extremities were in shape, but the arms?  OMG!  She worked our arms so hard that tonight I am like spaghetti arms or something?  I just kept seeing me in that cute little sundress this summer with tone arms!  That’s how I got through the pain of it all!  And I see the rheumatologist when?  *laughs*  Tonight I’m stiff and sore!

The next few days will be very hectic.  Chad, Amy and girls fly out for Disney on Thursday, of which Amy is feeling horrible about if that baby doesn’t arrive tomorrow.  I assure her no one can help this!  This baby was due to come on Feb. 7 – 12.  Who would have thought it’d go on this long over?  So I will get up early Thursday morning, like 4:00am, and take them to the airport, then head back to the hospital.  Unless labor is happening and the baby is born early Thursday morning, then Chad and Amy can drive themselves, call my cell phone and say where their car is parked, then Dell can take me to the airport later to pick their car up.

As I said, CRAZY and BUSY times the next couple of days!

I do plan to take my laptop.  Will I have time to write?  I hope so.  I should be able to get on line from wherever I am, and promise to make the announcement when Baby girl arrives.  Will it be the 18^th or the 19^th?  Anyone want to take bets? *chuckles*

And life goes on.  Is it all pre-planned?  Does destiny unfold in the day to day living? I rather think so……………but for tonight my eyes are heavy, and who knows if I will be called at 3:00am to head to the hospital, so I will close for a little time of prayer and quiet reflection.

As I await another little new life to enter my world and my heart.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:   And here I go again. One more change in my life.  I still have this restless feeling, tho it wasn’t as bad today as it has been as of late.  Perhaps it is knowing that life calls me to be strong and wise again.  For the most part I am, or I seek that wisdom always……..but there is one way I am weak, and that is when it comes to you.  Strength it seems to me would give me the courage to give up this inner belief that you and I are so connected………….but then perhaps I have that all wrong and it takes strength to believe that what I know from within my heart is the most real thing there is………and weakness would be running from my heart because it doesn’t make sense and I can’t see what I just seem to know.  Am I rambling?  And the soft/meditative music plays as I sit alone in my living room, candles aglow in the windows, and next to me on the table. Lilly at my feet and a strong wind blowing outside that sets my wind chimes humming the most beautiful song………….and I think of you.  Surely the memories of your eyes the last time I saw you before you walked away from me, as you held my hand in yours……….surely that was a moment that simply said,  “Someday we will find one another again. It’s in my heart, and shines through my eyes.”  Is that what I saw?  Perhaps.  I send you love and light in the memories of all that it was we once exchanged……………..moments, these incredible fleeting moments that seem to be lasting into eternity.  I know you’ll be checking in to see if this newest change in my life just happens to come on a very special day of yours……………J  Wouldn’t that be something? *winks*   Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine

Good morning,

It’s Tuesday. My normal day off will be given to work so that I am off tomorrow and Thursday for the birth of grandchild number 4.  I figure since they won’t induce my daughter-in-law until tomorrow morning I should go ahead and work today so I’m available the next two days.

It’s not that my presence is required, but my son has requested I be there, and I will do whatever he needs and asks.

I’m still half way freaking out that this baby may be born on February 19…….but life seems to sometimes be one big circle that teaches us so many things as it goes round and round……….

I continue to have this feeling of not so good things up ahead, feelings I wish I could shake, but can’t.  I still believe tho globally we are about to experience things we can’t fathom, on a personal level I will continue to be sheltered within the wings of the Lord.  Perhaps on a personal level my own tribulations have been lived the past however many years, and the lessons I have learned and continue to learn is faith.  Are we prepared for things to come before they get here?  It’s as if God has been preparing me for the bigger things through trials of the heart.

So many thoughts on this, but I have to admit within I have the grandest sense of peace as the perfect storm appears to be brewing all around.  Wow.  A sense of love and light that envelopes me no matter what.

And now, it’s off to work!  I pray a presence of peace that will go before me and remain all the day through.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Have a beautiful day!

Sunshine

Good morning Soul Mate:  Feeling your nearness the past day or so and wondering at the same time what it’s all about.  I sat in the hot tub last night, exhausted from so much going on in my life, and looked at the stars and tho it is what it is at this place in time, I still had this knowing that somehow, you and I would be brought special into our lives when fate/destiny one day about 8 years ago made sure our paths would cross. If only for moments in time, it seems to me those moments have somehow provided a light neither one of us probably thought we’d ever see.  And in the hot tub I said to the Father,  “Thank you.”  This morning I still smile with a gift of thanks and I send you love and light.  My darling Soul Mate, so far away, in such a different life, but still, my muse.  Have a beautiful day~     Love, Sunshine