I can’t believe it but I slept in till 9:00am this morning!  This is SO not like me.  I guess I was feeling really tired last night after all. Now tomorrow morning, it’s back to being up at 5:30am.  I am SO not an early morning riser. *sighs*

I also woke up with the most intense red eye.  It’s really not better tonight either, so apparently I have some sort of virus going on.  Of course I thought pink eye first thing, but it isn’t oozing………….so my theory was when I swam today to open up my eyes under water and let the chlorine clean it.  I know, probably not a smart thing to do. Tonight it remains red, but still not oozing, so whatever it is will probably be gone by tomorrow.

My journal sure did have a lot of hits today!  Being publicized as Journal of The Week draws a lot of attention.  I think back to when I first started this journal.  I did the best I could to keep it private, just a place to be shared between Soul Mate and I.  For the longest time I didn’t tell my friends or anyone about this place.  It was here that he and I met, where only he knew who I was, and only I knew who he was.  But then it grew, and I lost the fears of keeping my anonymity.  As I mentioned last night before this journal I had another here at Bravenet. It too was recognized as being “Journal of The Week”, back in the day that was a whole new thing for Bravenet.   I also became high on the “stock market” fantasy game of blogs back then.  The problem was I used my real name and location and all those things.  My daughter went through a divorce at the time and her ex-in laws found my journal and totally sabotaged it by leaving horrible comments and messages one day.  They were so horrendous, in my state of panic that I was exposed to the world, I deleted it.  It’s SO sad too as I lost over a year of writings!  And that was the early part of my journey.  Those words can’t be replaced and I blame no one but myself.  When you open yourself up as I do in my journals, you must be prepared for negative things to come with the good. What I felt bad about was those that believed in my journal and had SO much stock in my writings.  I don’t know how this game works, but I felt horrible.  I discovered a few months ago tho that this journal is back on the stock market, tho unsure how it all works I just don’t think too much about it, only that I won’t delete this one and hurt those that believe in it.  Life sometimes does give you a 2^nd chance and tonight, when I look over my writings and all it has brought me since late 2003, I am grateful for that 2^nd chance.

When I think of it tho, it’s not having a lot of people read your stuff that matters, for me it is the AWESOME friends my journal has brought into my life!  And now I am meeting new friends too!  I could list some of you, but you know who you are and you do know how special you are in my heart.  And to my Soul Mate, who has been reading here since I sent him that letter at the very beginning and told him where he would be able to find me again, now almost 4 years ago, nothing is as special as knowing I can still talk to you, share what’s in my heart, and continue letting you know me. So yeah, I could have a million hits a day, and none would matter if those special ones that have been with me for a quite awhile weren’t here.  Thank you all of you.

So my day was one of quietness I think for the most part.  I went and had lunch with Dell followed by errands of the, “gotta be done” type.  I ended at the pool for my swim this afternoon, where I swam laps, did some water aerobics, and power walked, in all an hour work out.  Lilly and Pete did all my running with me.  My friend Jane can’t believe my dogs!  They are SO good in the car.  I can open up the door and they would never jump out!  As a matter of fact when I was putting gas in my car today I opened up the door so they could get some air, they just sat in their seats and watched me.  Jane just shakes her head and says, “If I had my two, they’d jump out and ran about 10 miles before I could get to them!”  I guess sometimes I take things for granted, like how good they are.

This never happens, and I can’t believe it, but I talked to all 3 of my kids today!  All in one day!  Amy called worrying because she had the weather channel on and it looked like we were getting severe storms. Then Jason called wanting us to go on a road trip with them this weekend, of which I can’t.  Emma will be in town for spring break, staying at Amy’s and all of them are heading for another city which is 4 hours from here.  Elizabeth and “G” will be here until early afternoon on Saturday, and I don’t want to drive that far anyway, so I explained it’d be an 8-hour round trip for us.  He understood.  So we all made plans for them to come here on Sunday to celebrate my birthday which won’t be until that Wednesday, but having ALL the grandkids at once here in my house is a MIRACLE!  Rather than go out to dinner with 4 little ones, I will make dinner. I know, my birthday, I shouldn’t cook, but having them all here means THAT much to me!  I’ll bring in KFC or something. Then Joel called.  I was trying to figure out all the info on his graduation coming up in April.  He’s been in officer school and will become a Chaplin.  Yes, I am very proud of him as he has sacrificed a LOT to make it this far, not to mention Emma and Drew who have been without him since January 2 as he is off serving our country.

Dell and I have both taken a week off to go to this.  We’re going to take off from his celebration and head to the coast where we will drive up the shoreline, ending in the Outer Banks, which is MY favorite beach in the whole world. I LOVE the spiritual quaintness of the Outer Banks!  It won’t probably be all that warm, but ll I need is to walk the desolate beaches of Ocracoke Island.  I’ve always said, “Just throw me on the beach and all will be well in my soul.”  I long to be there now, but tell myself that simple truth,  “It’s the journey along the way that makes it so awesome in the end.”  Expect lots of deep soul-searching journals that week, that’s for sure as I travel so many beaches along the way.  The only sad thing for me is we won’t be taking Pete and Lilly on this trip.  They will be going to camp that week, which will KILL me!  Normally I take them as I would have found dog-friendly condos or hotels of which they could easily go, but not staying in one place makes it more tough.  They have to stay home this time, which breaks my heart, but what else can I do?

I’ve been spending lots of time tonight on Facebook too!  I’m so addicted to this!  I’ve found lots of old friends this way, and lots of old friends have found me.  It’s great to connect with old friends again.  One of the guys I caught up with tonight, via another friend who found me a few days ago, graduated from the high school of which I worked for 20 years. He graduated within the first few years of which I started.  He was ADORABLE!  Had the long blonde hair of the 80s, and looked like he could be a member of Bon Jovi or something. *laughs*  When I went to his profile tonight, he was bald!  I didn’t hardly recognize him even!  How life changes as time goes on. In my mind I still saw him as I saw him when he was 17 and 18 years old. This facebook thing could get addictive!   If you read here and would like to connect on facebook, please email me; sunshinesmiles_276@yahoo.com.

I have rambled tonight!  Life continues to teach me the most incredible things, or else I am paying more attention these days than I ever did.  I am learning to be grateful for things I have always taken for granted, or else perhaps I’ve finally surrendered to the truth that everything happens for a reason and my every footstep is directed by the Lord.  With those thoughts, I find peace in facing the tomorrows, for surely, even in the hard times, life’s greatest lessons are learned.

With that I shall close. I had hoped to go out to the hot tub and sit and meditate but the rain is pouring out there, so I guess I’ll head to bed, pick up God’s word and discover some wonderful eternal truths.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  During my swim times today I thought way back to after we first met.  My times in the pool back then.  Trying to figure it all out, running to the hospital after my swims as my mom was dying, trying to work while what seemed my whole world was falling apart!  I remember being in the hospital those long nights and going outside to smoke (before I quit).  I’d stand out there and wonder how I’d find the strength to face what I was, and it was as if God opened a window of some sort to where I literally felt you there with me!  I’d swear I felt your arms around me and it gave me the strength to carry on.  I even wrote you a letter back then telling you what I was feeling.  The awesome memory of this part of “my” journey was 9 months later when you did hold me in your arms and whispered in my ear how sorry you were about my mamma.  It was as if time melted back away to 9 months earlier, when I’d feel your arms around me in that hospital! It was the most amazing time-melting moment for me.  That’s been the thing about this journey,  it’s all been full of the most incredible prophetic moments, like heaven really was in the midst of so many things, allowing me to believe in the story and the journey.  I’ve learned so much.  It’s been WAY too long now since we’ve experienced anything “special.”  But when I think of it, every day we get to share special.  We touch, and really, for the lack of really knowing one another, how far apart we are, and the different worlds of which we live, yet still………….we touch. Surely this is part of a beautiful plan for one day.  Faith and hope that love is so much bigger than what we really understand. And I send you love and light……….always my dear friend so far away, my special someone.  Goodnight ~  Love, Sunshine

 I know I played this song just a few nights ago, but tonight, from all my memories it seems SO perfect!  The words are so much what I have felt through the years as I have faced some really dark times and days.............and yet, faith brought me through, as well as meeting a man I never really knew, and yet, had always known.  A man who seemed to bring me strength in a place I had never known or been too, until he came into my world.  The words in this song could have been written by me, so I dedicate it to my Soul Mate tonight.