It’s early for me to begin writing, but pathetic as this sounds, there’s a movie on at 8:00pm on LMN (Lifetime Movie Network) that I want to see. It’s the story of the cheerleaders, I believe somewhere in Texas, who were OUT of control!  One of the cheerleader’s mom was Principal of the school and let them run wild. She ended up getting fired, which from what I remember of the story, should have!  Being a former Cheerleading Coach, I’ve been intrigued by the story since my old Principal told me about it when it happened. We sort of chuckled, totally knowing how this could happen!  So I will be tuned in at 8:00, which personally, I find pathetic of me to do. 

I say that because the past few days I’ve been so reflective.  I’ve decided from now on I will celebrate New Year’s on March 18, when I finish another year of life’s journey.  I decided to establish some goals for myself, since today is officially day two of my New Year celebration.  One of those goals is to read the Bible in 90 days. Yes, the WHOLE Bible!  I so hoped to begin today, but here I am, TV drawing me, making me feel not so goal-oriented, and yet at the same time, I will not be harsh on myself.  Perhaps I will begin tomorrow instead of today. So what if I begin on Day 3, vs. Day 2?

I had a very quiet, non-eventful birthday.  Jane joined Dell and I for dinner which was nice.  A small, quaint celebration at Red Lobster.  When I went in I was panicked that the waitress that waited on me and all my friends last Friday night, blessing me with a complimentary sundae, would wait on us.  I mean she even sang to me and everything thinking the 13^th was my birthday!  Now here it is, 5 days later and I’m back for another birthday celebration?  This waitress tends to be sort of, um……………outspoken, pushy, and well, curt, I could only imagine how she’d react to me celebrating another birthday 5 days later.  Jane beat us there, when we sat down I saw “the waitress” I didn’t want at the table behind us.  “Oh no, please, no!” I whispered to myself.  We sat down.  “Jane, who’s our waitress?”  “Oh, it’s the blonde, she’s not very friendly either!”  She need say no more.  “Oh no, I didn’t’ want her!  She thought last Friday was my birthday!”  No more did I say that, than here she is, standing at our table.  “You’re back!”  She said in her friendly way that some may not take as friendly.  “Yeah, today is my official birthday, I told my friend here I hoped you wouldn’t wait on us because you sang to me the other night and all. I’ve had a “birthday” week, okay?”  She laughed at me, explained she understood, and I laughingly said, “You don’t have to sing to me or anything.”   “Oh YES SHE DOES! I TOLD HER SHE DID!”  Jane said in her determined voice.  We all sort of laughed.  “Can I get you something to drink?  You want another one of those “Mango Berry Daiquiris?”   She said with a smile.  “Is that what I split with my friend the other night?”  “Yup!”  She said.  “Well, that’s what I came here for on my birthday!  I’m going to split it with Dell.”  I knew Dell would NEVER like this fruity drink, but in my mind, it sounded like a good idea, knowing I’d probably drink the whole thing…………..and I did.  It was a nice meal.  I’m on this goal of eating lots of fruits and veggies these days, so I was good and ordered as such.  I wondered if I could count the strawberry that came on top of the daiquiri as a fruit serving, even if I did dip it into the frothy mixture of what I call drink paradise?  I laughed to myself and decided since it was MY birthday, I would and could.  *laughs*  We had a nice dinner, as I said, small and quaint.  But nice to be with people you know care.  I finished the daiquiri after dinner (they’re HUGE) and as I slurped it down like some fruity desert or something, I suddenly realized all the alcohol had settled to the bottom.  It hit me and I was unable to drive home.

The rest of the night last night I simply sat in my recliner, watching movies.  It was my party right?  And I was exhausted!  The drink, working all day in an office without air quality at all, and the change of weather wiped me out. I pretty much spent my night alone, in front of TV.  Thinking and pondering over the goals I needed to set for myself on my new year, which is now going into the 50s!

SO many beautiful comments from some VERY special people on my journal!  Thank you! Thank you!!! LISE!!  Keeper!! Dee!!!  How kind.  I LOVE it when people comment thoughts and say hello.  It meant SO much to me!  Thank you.  I also had a lot of people write on my wall on facebook.  Old friends, new friends and everything in between.  I really am so appreciative of the people I call friends in this lifetime. SO many I have met here, on my journal, and even tho we maybe haven’t met in person, I SO feel as if I know you well.  And I appreciate you SO very much!

My birthday ended by me going to bed SO very early.  I sat in the hot tub for a bit and it just wiped me out.  I fell into bed and realized that for the first time in a very long time, I didn’t cry on my birthday.  Birthdays always make me feel so sentimental.  I’ve always tried to figure out why, so I decided it was because my mom and dad made them so special for me.  I still remember turning 7, my dad brought me home a red rose, which can still bring tears to my eyes.  He made me feel so special that I can still see the dining room table set that night, with my rose sat in front of my plate.  Isn’t it amazing how the simple things in our lives often turn to memories we never forget?  This year I felt different.  I think it’s because of all the reflecting I’ve done and seeing it as entering a new year, vs. a sentimental can’t go back in time sort of thing.  I had wanted to go to the cemetery yesterday and take flowers to my parents, but didn’t make it.  Work, tiredness, and cool temps drove me home after work to collapse for a bit.  Perhaps this weekend I will go to their graves and take flowers.  My mom’s been gone for 7.5 years now, my dad 4 years.  I’ve yet to go to the gravesites, and yet to take flowers. I just don’t think of them as being there, but for some reason, I want to share my birthday with them because they always let me know how special it was to them.  Yeah, I will go there this weekend.

I woke up really early this morning after having gone to sleep so early last night. I was in the pool before 8:00am!  Then home to shower and do some stuff, then out to lunch with Jane. (Dell met us today too).  My country store/rustic shopping days are over for awhile as I balanced my checkbook tonight and realized how “out of control” I am with that!  I am now officially on a spending freeze!  The economy is horrible……………and it’s hit home!  I may have to go back to work full time at this rate! Or the other option is to fix up that trashed out rental, which isn’t so trashed out anymore as we have slowly been doing stuff in there.  I choose option B, and told Dell tonight that I need to set May 1 as the goal to have it ready to re-rent. I SO don’t want to rent it, but since God brought me such awesome renters in the other rental house, I will wait upon Him to bring the right ones to this house this time too.  Yes, the other renters are thus far a God-send, as I knew God had answered prayer when they came to see the place.  Every month ON the 1^st he brings a check to me.  They are quiet, respect the place, it seems fixed up on the inside, and all that I prayed for.  Tonight when I knew I had to take drastic measures to fix my economical not-so-good place, I remembered how God answered that prayer, and decided to trust him on this one too.  (If you’ve been reading here for a long time you know my woes with having rental property. *sighs*)

As a matter of fact, as I slowly look out my sun porch to see the sun begin to set, I realize how very much I am needing to trust him more and more these days as I still say things are very “shaky” right now for many of us, but I’m not going to talk about all of that as all anyone has to do is turn on the TV and you can get filled with all that doom and gloom. For me, I think I’m just in a gentle place to trust God, as I know He’s never let me down.  Things may not be what I hoped for at the moment, but I know one thing………He’s never early, He’s never late, He’s always JUST on time.  Very peaceful thoughts I think to close on tonight, as the sun sets, and a quiet peaceful ambiance surrounds me.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Wow!  What a great place I am in right now when it comes to you, having perhaps finally put it all in perspective, well maybe?  I heard from my old friend Angela for my birthday.  I know you know the story of Ang.  She was the one that told me that she had a vision about 6 months before I saw you the last time and told me she saw you hold my hands in yours, and you slowly turned and walked away from me.  I thought she was nuts because I had no plans to see you!  But 6 months later, it happened just as she said. In her birthday email to me she had more insight, or could see things once again, and what I know in my heart, she confirmed.  You are where you are meant to be for now, and I am where I am meant to be, and yet, there still remains between us that which was always meant to be too.  Something so very beautiful my friend, that will never go away.  It doesn’t mean we can’t and won’t love others……….but it does mean that no matter what, a soul connection is far reaching past life’s journey.  I always want to make it a fantasy or dream or something, but you know, I honestly don’t believe that is it. It is a soul connection. I wish I could tell you how it works, but how could I when it goes beyond human understanding. I only know one can feel it in their heart when they close their eyes and feel it.  It is there, like an eternal flame that will never go out.  Perhaps that’s where the term, “Twin Flames” comes from.  Yeah,  I think for now, it’s in a good place.  And through it all, I still say, “I’m so glad it’s you.”  And psssst…………..I’m also glad you have love in your “real” life now.  No jealousy, as this journey has truly taught me what love is. Thank you for finding me in this life.  I send you love and light,  Goodnight,  Love-Sunshine