Tonight finds me very, very reflective as I sit at my dining room table which overlooks the sun porch, which overlooks the forest behind my house, still laced with barren trees allowing me to see the beautiful creek that runs on the other side.  And the sun is setting once again, meaning another day has come and gone. I guess it must be special as today is the first day of spring.  Soon those barren trees will grow new leaves and be filled again with the most awesome colors of green.  As the seasons come and the seasons go and I wait.  For something I am forever waiting or so it seems.

The past couple days have been filled with nothing to do.  Now that I am SERIOUSLY on a spending freeze, I am determined to stick with it.  I worked yesterday then came home.  Nothing on the agenda at all, I really should have been writing and working on the book, but I had awakened that morning at 3:30am and for the life of me COULD NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP! I was SO grateful that I only worked till 11:00am, as by 1:00pm, I was a walking zombie!  I hate it when I wake up like that!

So I came home, not even working out as my goal was. My friend Nichole had text messaged me asking if I had a house for rent at the moment. I found that to be rather odd, having decided earlier in the week I will re-rent the trashed out house. She swears she has known these people for a long, long time and they will be EXCELLENT renters!  Here’s the deal tho. They are animal lovers.  They have a dog, a cat, snake, scorpions, and some other exotic animals.  Whoa!  The gal works at PetSmart, he is a mechanic, but they follow all the rules and regulations Nichole assures me.  They have permits, and whatever is necessary and take care of the animals accordingly.  They can give me outstanding references.  My head hurt as she kept texting me.  Why would anyone want a pet scorpion? It goes beyond my understanding!  BUT, I have not ruled them out. *”l AM A FOOL” written on forehead*  I trust Nichole, I find it coincidental that this came out of nowhere when I had just realized my need to rent that icky house.  Perhaps they will be willing to “fix” it up and I will reduce the rent?  Now that might be incentive for me!  But first I MUST know what sort of snakes they are talking about! *shudders*  I’m really not afraid of snakes.  I got over that when my son Jason brought one home to live with us, then moved out and left, “Conway” with me. I use to take him outside and play with him in the grass. He’d slither and I’d grab him and he’d crawl on me.  Funny, we can sure get over our fears when we face them sometimes.  Eventually we gave Conway to another home. If memory serves me correctly, it was to a gal that worked at the pet store at the mall. She and her boyfriend raised snakes and were very happy to get Conway.  You don’t suppose Conway could come back to live do you?  Wow.  That’d be something.

Here's an old photo from about 5 years ago of Conway and I....................I really did like the little fellow!

So after all my texting with Nichole I was half asleep. I sat in my recliner, turned on LMN and drifted off to sleep.  I even dreamt!  When I awakened I felt like crap. I ended up not moving from that recliner the rest of the day and night, until I went to bed.  How many movies did I watch yesterday! A complete waste of a day!!!!  I was disappointed in myself, but so tired, I didn’t care.  My mind was in a sort of haze or something. I used to always have what I called, “Lifetime” days!  Where I’d crash. It’d been awhile since I’d done it. Apparently I needed it.

Today was more of the same. No plans, on a spending freeze, I was going nowhere!  But I was much more focused today, having gotten all caught up on the rest thing. I began early by laundry and cleaning. By noon I headed to the pool for a workout.  Almost an hour in the pool!  I came home and decided to lie out in the sun.  Yeah, it was only about 50, but I’ve discovered if I put my lounger near the house to stop the breeze, right in the sun is very pleasant. I fell sound asleep!  My face is burned tonight as are my arms and legs. I personally think the natural sun is so much better than tanning beds, so I’m really trying to get a base tan this way. And I need the base tan because I am going to the coast in 2 weeks. Whether Florida or North Carolina Outer Banks remains to be seen, depending upon weather…………….either way, I WILL be on the beach and need that base tan!  YAY!!!  The beach!!

Tonight I was still in a frame of mind to complete goals and decided it was time to begin the “Read the Bible in 90 days.”  This comes out to 6 pages in the Old Testament, 5 pages in the New Testament and One Page a Day in Psalms and Proverbs.  But first I decided to go out and do a meditation hike. It’d been SO long since I’ve done that on my property.  It was early evening, I played my ipod, Spiritual Songs, as the sun was early evening sun, and the sky so blue.  It really did prepare my heart to open up God’s word and begin a huge goal. I’ve read the Bible in a year MANY times, but never attempted it in 90 days. I listen to a radio program that is encouraging people to do this, and those that have swear they have garnered so much understanding.  I need understanding these days!  No, I need understanding ALWAYS!  So my heart is in the right place, I’ve begun, and I am believing I will succeed.

You know what amazes me about the Bible? I have read it how many times, and EVERYTIME I go back and begin again, I learn something new!  Something I’ve never seen before that opens my eyes up to see things I’ve not seen……….then I begin meditating upon the latest thing God has shown me and wow!  I will take private notes, I’ll begin to write it out…….and I grow.  Spiritually I grow so much!

With that, the sun has almost set now, I have my new candle in the glass globe with salt rocks burning, the one the girls gave me for my birthday, and a miniature chimera burning next to it, along with all the electric candles in the windows, meditative music playing, as I watch the sun completely set. I don’t know where my tomorrows are going for sure, I have a deep place within me that believes it has seen some of the tomorrows, but for now, there is so much peace around me, I think I’m at a place that suddenly has surrendered to a faith that God has it in His hands, and the timing in His hands.  All I need to do is trust, and trust, I do.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  So on my meditation hike tonight one of my favorite Christian Songs came on. For years I have listened to this song and loved the words, but they’ve never quite meant as much to me as they did tonight when they had all new meaning as to what you mean to me.  For so long we have had missed opportunity after missed opportunity, that it’s almost been comical when I look back at the story.  But through it all, I’ve never been able to be angry with you, nor you me it seems, it’s just as if we know that whatever it was we found the day our paths crossed, it was written in our souls. I honestly believe this and therefore, I can keep you close, as always.  Without crossing over the lines of which are drawn at this time in both our lives.  Listen carefully to tonight’s song and the words, for when I heard them on my meditation hike, I knew I had to share them with you.  My friend, no, I would not say never…………….for the welcome of you will never end. If no more than a close friend……….I would always be here for you.  And the love remains.  As always. I send you that love and light……………as the sun sets, and another day closes……..I think of you and whisper to you, “Goodnight.”  Love, ~Sunshine