Once again I’m writing from my deck. How I love spring and the promise of summer after a long winter.  We’re under some sort of high wind warning, which  for me is the ultimate! I have ALWAYS loved wind.  I love to listen to it, and feel it in my face, blowing my hair.  Guess I’m just a windy person.

Yesterday at work Jane and I had to deliver envelopes, make that “hand” deliver envelopes to several different offices around campus.  We ended up walking for 2.5 hours, including climbing steps.  To say the least last night I simply collapsed. Yes, I work out all the time now, and thought I was in better shape than that! The truth is tho, had that been expected of me back in January, no way would I have made it! So yeah, probably the working out is helping.  Walking that long tho is wearing on anyone.  I just sat in the recliner last night, dozing, watching LMN, and trying to get myself motivated.

One of the buildings we went into was an old one, one of those old brick buildings that reek of a smell of who knows what.  This was like our next to last stop on this trek we had taken off on.  We both hurt so badly!  The envelope needed to be taken to the 2^nd floor.  Jane and I both said no way we’d make it up one more flight of steps, so the gal in the office led us to the only elevator in the place.  “Hope you don’t mind, it’s a freight elevator.”  I could have cared less, I thought.  She sort of smiled and left us to use the elevator.  There was a cage in front. I hit the “door open” button. The cage opened up in half, the upper half going up, the lower half going down.  Jane and I just sort of looked at one another, I still didn’t really care, no way was I climbing one more set of stairs!  I hit the 2 button to go up.  Nothing happened.  I pressed it again, nothing happened.  Jane was trying to read instructions, so I hit the “close door” button.  When I did the gate closed, the most icky doors closed on the elevator, a LOUD bell rang and we sat still.  I’m telling you, I was waiting for famed Michael Myers of Halloween to jump out or Jason from Friday the 13^th!  Have I ever mentioned I don’t like elevators?  I hit the 2 button, the bell rang again, and slowly, we feel ourselves take off.  “Jane, this is ridiculous!  I’m freaking out here!”  She was about as unsure of this ride as I was.  We got to the top, the doors opened, the gate came apart and Jane and I about ran over one another to get out!  “Well!”  I said, “That was something!”  Both of us hurting, we just wanted to find the office we needed in this maze of a hallway.  When we did, and delivered the envelope, we both opted to find stairs. No WAY was either of going back to that elevator!  Hurt of not, I’d limp down those stairs before I’d ever go back!

Once outside, and heading towards the hall where we knew we’d find lunch, I told Jane,  “I feel as if I’ve been to Disney today.  But at least when you walk at Disney you get to sit and ride some rides from time to time.  Okay, I guess we did get to ride the “Tower of Terror” on that freaking elevator!”  She laughed, and said she was just thinking the same thing!  At least we still had our sense of humor.  Plus, I thought to myself, I don’t have to worry about going home and walking or working out!  There’s always a bright side to every story.

My boss called me a bit later to know how we had made out.  I told her never again would I attempt to do this.  She then asked me about coding what I had handed out, which I had forgotten to do.  Why are some mistakes so awful to make?  I had no excuse, I simply had forgotten it in all my zeal to get them out on the day I was directed to.  She didn’t yell at me, I think she knew I was at my wit’s end, and I was.  I was SO glad I was off today!

After work, and feeling very sluggish, I headed to my accountant’s office. I had dropped my taxes off two weeks earlier and never heard a word from him!  I had called and left messages and he had never called me back. I was in a bit of a panic, after all this is the end of March and taxes are due when?  I decided to forget phone calls, I will drop by his office. My fear was they had been lost!

The receptionist I had dropped them off with greeted me. She remembered me and told me she had given them to him.  She tried to find him, but he wasn’t in his office. She called his cell phone, he didn’t answer.  She tried to find his assistant, he was nowhere to be found.  “They have another office somewhere around here.” She went on to say. Finally she suggested we go exploring to see if we could find his office.  “How far away is this?” I asked, knowing I had already walked for 2.5 hours and having feet and legs that were killing me!  She assured me it was only about a block away she thought?  She didn’t know where the other office was located for sure, so she was exploring as I would be.  And off we went for yet another walk!

We walked around downtown, in alleys, looking anywhere for an office.  Finally we went into some “controllers” office and sure enough, there was the assistant to my accountant.  He tried to make excuses for my accountant, but I happened to look at his desk and there set my file!  How did I know? I had bundled everything together in a blue jay colored file folder, not a popular color for businesses!  Sure enough, there they were!  He was just getting ready to do them. I know he felt bad. All I cared about was that they weren’t lost as I had had visions of trying to replace all that paperwork!  He promised he’d get them done and call me. He followed through with hid promise and fairly good news. I will have a sizable return coming. Oh no, it won’t go to anything fun. My overpayment will go to pay property taxes in May.  Since this is a place of love and light, please don’t get me started on taxes.  I am one of those that will be sending a tea bag to Washington DC on April 1^st as a tea party revolt.  So the subject is a sore one with me,  even tho I know there is no better place on earth to live (in my mind) than the USA, still I feel we have a government that is out of control, so I WILL send my tea bag in April 1 to exercise my legal right of protest, but in the end, I will pay my taxes. *sighs*

Okay, this is not and never will be a political journal! So back to love and light!

I woke up this morning early and hit the pool early for an hour workout. My spiritual times continue as God began to show me an analogy as I was working out. An analogy about prayer that I want to share;  I honestly don’t believe “earth” or this life is my eternal home.  I’m just here, passing through on some sort of journey.  As I was meditating on this God began to show me what prayer was, when I talk to Him. “My child when you pray, it’s like you’re calling home while on your journey! It’s our way to talk!”  Wow!  That was such an AWESOME way of showing me and giving me understanding how important prayer is. I think that “religion” has made prayer out to be something it isn’t!  Some sort of drudgery or something, so when God made me see it was like calling home when you’re far, far away, I suddenly realized how awesome it is when I talk to God like that, and when I get still and God talks to me!  This was my HUGE spiritual lesson of the day!

I finished my workout, came home, did some paper work, showered, met Dell for lunch, went and tanned, came home where it was SO, SO beautiful.  I decided to get my Bible Reading for today done, and opted to put shorts on and sit on the deck and read.  What an AWESOME time!  As I get more and more into this daily reading, once again God is opening my eyes to so many things!  I could go on and on about all I’m learning, but I won’t. Some of these lessons I’m burying in my heart and meditating upon for they are truly inspiring thoughts filling me with understanding.

On the soul mate front:  I still believe.  I will always believe.  Yet for now, I know I have to back off.  It’s wrong to covet someone else’s husband, so I am working hard on that.  Does it mean I don’t hold him in my heart? Of course I do.  But I am working hard on not dreaming the dreams I did for so long. But you know, that’s probably not all that bad of a thing.  I continue to find strength within me in the process.

I had the radio on this morning and they had Karen Kingsbury on.  Karen is a HUGE novelist, writing beautiful Christian novels.  As I listened to her interview I touched a spirit within her that I know so well in myself. Once again I feel the need to get the “book” done. I began to think about how far I am with the book, but because I have given up my “dream” ending, I am finding perhaps this book will be easier to write because now I will be able to write the ending my way.  Which everyone just might be surprised on!

Now, I am thinking seriously of heading to the hot tub.  I’ve been icing the knee the whole time of writing, now to sit in the heat will truly do wonders!  It continues to be really windy out here, so I can listen to the wind blow, reminding me of God’s spirit and how it flows throughout the earth,  and quietly meditate some more on all that I am learning these days as I am once again back to where it is I am meant to be, and that is seeking His kingdom first.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Have I forgotten to dream?  Of course not!  But I do put them on hold out of respect for where you are in your life.  I continue to learn so much on this journey of life, most of it awakening to me when I met you. I will always believe with all my heart you came to wake me up and you did!  That’s why I will always hold you in my heart as the most special thing ever.  Will I ever know if I did the same for you?  Will I ever know for sure you stayed with me all these years and came and read my words?  Still so many questions, of which I know one day, I will have the answers to……….but for now, you are like the stars to me.  As the stars, you just goes on and on into eternity, with a light that shines as some sort of guide.  *taps heart*  It will always remain here.  I send you love and light………………Goodnight,  Love, ~Sunshine

Tonight's song is for me.  It describes how I feel so very many days.