It’s late for me to begin. I’m just in from the hot tub where the sprinkles have already started. It’s predicted to be a rainy day tomorrow in my world.  I was glad to get my “quiet” time in before it begins.  A time to reflect for me and basically be still and just be.

I went to a fish fry last night with Jane.  Dell had joined us, which surprised me, but Jane had asked him to go at lunch earlier yesterday, before I arrived from work to meet them.  He had agreed.  I’d never really been to a fish fry tho Dell swears I have in earlier days.  I have no memory of it?  It wasn’t all that great, but the company was nice.  Jane’s son and DIL (daughter-in-law) and step grandson joined us.  We really did have a nice time. As we were leaving I had to make a stop in the ladies room to powder my nose.  The elementary school of where the fish fry was held is old.  As I went in I felt it immediately.  I just sometimes experience this feeling of a presence. I usually don’t get afraid, tho I will feel a bit “eerie”.  I am mostly aware of this when I go to look in mirrors, as if I will see something behind me.  I never have, but it seems to be when the sensation is strongest! I kept my wits about me, walked out, and said to Jane’s son and DIL, “The school’s haunted.”  I’m sure the DIL took me for nuts, but Jane’s son didn’t.  “Really?  How do you know?”  Try to explain sometimes you feel things!  He proceeded to tell me how his old farm house, the one they live in now is haunted and wondered if I felt anything in there?  I hadn’t…………perhaps if I was alone in one of the rooms upstairs I might have, but talking and getting a tour of the place I didn’t feel a thing.  Why am I so different and sense these things?  I’ve always wondered this!  I’m just glad I can’t see what I sense! J

Today was supposed to be a “clean the carpets” day for possible showings next week. Notice I say “supposed”.  I began my day by swimming for almost an hour. The plan was to come home then, make Dell and I an egg/bacon sandwich, then I was going to lay out in the sun for a few hours, and then I’d come in and run the shampooer.  Didn’t happen anyway I planned. I did make the brunch for Dell and I, cleaned the kitchen, started some laundry, when there was a knock on my garage door.  Dell was outside mowing the acreage.  When I went to look through the peephole, someone had their hand over it. My dogs were acting violent (they’re not, they just pretend for my benefit), so I opened the door. It was my brother-in-law and sister-in-law popping by for a visit!  Something they NEVER, EVER do!  I welcomed them in, got Dell’s attention as he was on the other side of the property and entertained my sister-in-law for the next couple of hours.  The sun never really came out so I didn’t feel too gypped.  They stayed and stayed. It amazes me how much Dell and his oldest brother act alike.  They look a lot alike, tho not quite as much as the Sam, his brother that died a year ago.  I still get this feeling of, “Is this my future?”  And a strangling feeling.  But there’s no faith in that, and no one knows what tomorrow might hold, nor the miracles God can do. It’s unfair of me to think this way……………because I know my life holds a lot of possibility up ahead.  Happiness is not found in where we are or who we are with, it’s what’s within us. Over and over I keep telling myself this!

I had quite the workout in the pool this morning.  I have so many questions in life,  as I swam laps found myself holding this conversation with God asking those questions. Tonight, they elude me, so apparently I must have found solace in asking, even if I didn’t get answers.  Someone had the radio on playing the oldies station.  I’ve tried to avoid music, other than Christian or my meditative music I play all the time because love songs just remind me of someone I’ve purposed in my heart not to think about right now.  Yes, Soul Mate.  It was interesting to see how I would respond to this.  I did good.  I have put it all in such good perspective, and today in the pool realized he is still very special to me, having finally conceded to the fact he had to go on in his life.  I will always question whether the latest messages I’ve gotten from him are actually him, of which I have doubt, only because I know the way he writes, having received messages from him in the past. But, I could be wrong too!  Either way, somewhere, I must mean something to him. I can smile at that.  I decided as I was swimming the biggest hurt I have from all of this is that one haunting question I DON’T get!  Why couldn’t we be friends all these years?  Why did he have to for the most part ignore me?  We could have truly found that special middle ground of a great friend.  Am I naïve to believe this could have been?  One of the last messages he sent me, 3 years ago was simple,  “I’m so glad we’re friends.”  But I wouldn’t hear from him for another 3 years…………….but was it he when I did?  Does it matter?  In my heart I know he and I still share something very special, but I’ve stopped writing to him at night out of respect for his wife.  It’s the no interference thing.  It’s the right thing to do. I know it in my heart.  As “Maggie May” played, words to the effect, “Maggie, I wish I’d never seen your face”  I realized I could never say that! I am glad I did see his face, I am glad I got to know him in a very short amount of time, and I am glad for the journey.  I was okay with the romantic music I discovered because I am finally good with the journey.  It obviously was a great swim time.

No calls on the property yet.  Amy and Chad had driven by a really neat log cabin sitting in a woods for sale this morning and called me sending me a photo. It was for sale by owner. I called the number for info but he never called back, even tho I left a message.  Must not be serious about selling.  There’s another house I am watching, but deep inside it isn’t the one.  When will “the one” be found?  Oh yeah!  When it is time.  God is never early, but He’s never late either.  This is SUCH a test of faith, this whole moving thing! Not to mention the question I have which is “Should I be moving?”  In my heart I know the answer, still it’s hard to think about leaving the shelter of family property I have known for so very long of my life.  NO! I am not questioning my decision to sell, if I can.

When I was on the beach in Florida one night, that really SUPER spiritual time I spent with God, He had asked me not to follow the news anymore, and this end-time prophecy I have studied for so very long.  “My child, you have ceased to live and journey, you need to focus on me and that of which I have laid before you.”  I knew He was telling me He would give me warnings if I needed them, or instruction.  He was also telling me to avoid news, 2012 forums, and other forums I frequent to keep up on news.  I was good! I hadn’t turned on TV, nor the internet since I’ve been gone!  And then tonight I got suckered in to reading one of my forums that reports where we are in time.  By the time I was through reading my joy had in fact been taken. I turned it off and decided that was it. I need to stay away.  Look up to God, follow the light of love, and trust that I am always guarded and taken care of.

Tomorrow I am going to the ballet.  Doesn’t that sound SO cultured of me?  The truth is I have never been to the ballet.  Amy got tickets to go to “Cinderella Ballet” in the city and asked me if I’d go with her and Skylar.  Princess Skylar, as I so affectionately refer to her, continues to be a huge Cinderella fan!  She is about to begin dance I believe Amy told me, so this will be exciting for her!  Will it be for me?  Hmmmmm?  I will just watch Skylar’s face and then it will be.  I think I will re-post the video tonight of the very special moment when Disney gave Skylar a private interview with Cinderella last August for her 3^rd birthday.  All Skylar asked for her birthday was to go to Cinderella’s house.  So we did.  One of the employees noticed Skylar in the castle dancing in her new little gown and crown, dressed as Cinderella and came out and talked to Skylar. When we told her the story of it being her 3^rd birthday and this was what she had asked for, wah lah!  She made some calls on her radio, and we were on our way for a very private meet and greet.  For those that have never seen the video, it is very special!  Amy and I were crying because it was a dream come true and we were at Disney, where dreams are made! 

And with that I’d better head to bed!  A drive to the city tomorrow, I need to get up early and get going!  The ballet!  Me!!  You just never know what tomorrow might hold!  J

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

~Sunshine

Tonight's song is in my heart for someone very special........................