This is the very first quiet moment I have had, not counting all the driving time,  since leaving home Thursday morning.  Dell has the TV on in our hotel room, so I have my earphones on and am playing me meditative/mellow soothing music.  Having been on the beach earlier today I must say I feel creative and deep and all those things I feel when I am near the ocean, or any large body of water for that fact.

Tonight finds me in Savannah, GA.  I had never been to Savannah until last summer when Chad, Amy, the girls, Dell and I went to Florida.  We spent the night at some beach hotel, then drove through downtown Savannah the next morning. We were in a hurry tho so we didn’t get to stop. The town can only be described as very quaint and awesome. I remember oohhing and awwwinng as we drove through, Chad opening the moonroof to take pictures as we drove down the main street. The trees that have moss hanging off them line the main roads. It really feels like a step back in time and is very inspiring.  Again, I see nature as this and am awestruck at God’s design of so many different things.  Tomorrow I decided I’d like to actually walk around Savannah, so that is my plan.  Dell has no plans, he is just sort of going along with whatever I do. I find myself driving most of the time, which amazes me. That’s a good thing.  I’m trying very hard to be free-spirited and uninhibited! 

Case in point?  This afternoon after the beach, we all went to Bubba Gump Shrimp Company in Charleston.  (Chad’s very favorite restaurant.)  Long story short we had to pay $8 for parking as there was nothing for us on the street. Joel and Emma, Chad and Amy were able to find something, but we didn’t.  The parking lot we paid for was off the main street and sort of quiet.  It was cooling off and I wanted to put blue jeans on. Having suitcases in the trunk made it easy to get to my jeans, but I had no place to change.  So right there, in the parking lot, I opened my car door, slipped off my jean shorts, put my jeans on, with Dell yelling at me the whole time!  My shirt was one of those “babydoll” shirts, long enough to cover, well you know.  When I was through I was SO proud of myself!  No one saw, that I know of………….and I wasn’t indecent by any means, I just am working so hard at being free-spirited, and decided this was a great way to do just that! *laughs*

Joel’s graduation yesterday was beautiful.  I don’t know what it is about me but I can get choked up on the craziest things. I’ve always been this way!  McDonald’s commercials and coffee commercials on TV can make me cry.  As we were in this formal building at Ft. Jackson yesterday, they opened graduation by singing our National Anthem.  Instant tears!  Then all of the graduates, or should I say, Chaplin Graduates, which were approximately 70 in all, sang their Army song…………and again, tears.  It was a beautiful ceremony.  As we left all of the newly graduated Chaplains lined the entrance to the building, where you walked through and congratulated each one of them.  Have I ever said, “Congratulations!” so many times?  Finally I decided to say what’s in my heart,  “Thanks for serving our country.”  Again, I was half in tears as I looked at each graduate and realized what they are doing for the country I love so much.  And tears.  Instant tears.

Amy flew in that night.  Oh were Skylar and Bree SO excited to see their mommy!  Even if it had only been a couple days, they are their mommy’s girls.  We had a hotel close to the airport and at 8:30 took the shuttle to the Charleston airport to pick her up.  We hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and hoped to grab something in the airport, except everything was closed.  Poor little ones!  They were hungry! But the excitement of their mommy’s soon arrival kept them going.  They both ran in the airport, me chasing them.  Luckily Amy’s plane arrived early.  As she was walking down the hall from the plane, the part where only those with boarding passes are allowed to be, she was almost to where we were when Skylar spotted her!  She went RUNNING, gleefully yelling,  “MOMMY, MOMMY!!!”  Amy was trying to get to her when some security dude, the “rent a cop” type, came from the gate, grabbed Skylar and yelled at her, “NO! You can’t go!”  It scared poor Skylar to death, he pushed her back towards me, and Skylar started crying hysterically!  He had scared her, and made her afraid she couldn’t see her mommy.  Amy ran up, having seen this happened, and grabbed Skylar who was sobbing by now. Amy started to cry, I started to cry, and some lady that Amy had gotten to know on the plane and come to be fast friends with was crying too!  And the “rent a cop?”  He stood there just glaring!  I SO much wanted to go smack him!  Why would ANYONE do that to a 3-year old who is running for her mommy, obviously SO excited to see her?  She didn’t run far past the line at all!  I swear I just don’t understand people!  If I would have EVEN said what I’d of liked to say to him, I would have probably ended up arrested.  I understand all about the threats of terrorism and all,  but come on!  Skylar, aged 3 wasn’t trying to go get on some plane!  She was running for her mommy who was arriving…………………where’s the common sense in that?  Can we say this guy probably had some sort of “deranged” authority issues because he has the uniform!  Poor Skylar.  And poor me because I had to submit to some authority who obviously had no compassion whatsoever!  Sometimes, I am reminded how I don’t like what this world has come to.  Last night was one of those times.

Skylar, Drew, and Bree had SUCH an awesome time in the water this afternoon while we were at the beach.  They ran, and jumped at the water’s edge……………for a moment all of life was perfect as I shared my love of the beach with my grandkids.  My beach times were just beginning and I knew this, but the grandkids won’t be around the rest of the week.  That’s okay too…………….I’m doing some real soul searching right now in my free-spirited times.

The beach I stood on today was the same beach I once stood on in 2002.  March of 2002.  My mom had passed away the previous September, and my dad was so depressed, I had convinced him to go to Isle of Palm, SC with me for spring break. (A Charleston suburb.) I had my own things I was battling at the time too. I had just met Soul Mate a year earlier and I had NO clue what was happening to me. I so desperately wanted to get over it because I didn’t understand.  We stayed right on the beach. I’d get up really early and go walk the beach.  I’d stand there and ask God to please take it away.  I remember crying because it all hurt so bad.  Then I’d go back to the hotel and meet Dell, Jason, and my dad where we’d go to the lobby of the hotel for breakfast. I got to know Joey this way.  Joey was a maintenance guy at the hotel.  We became fast friends, often discussing our spirituality, something we found in common.  That week there, every morning by 7:00am I’d go out on the beach, cry, beg to be set free of all I was feeling with God, come in, have breakfast, and talk to Joey.  He finally asked me some question that led to me telling him that I had met this man that had changed everything about me.  A very bizarre story indeed!  He asked me what he did. I told him he was a musician.  “We’re a weird breed, aren’t we?”  He said.  I guess I didn’t really realize what he was saying, after all I thought he was a maintenance person.  As we were leaving, he came up and handed me his card.  He had told me he was getting ready to quit his job and head back to his home state, where he owned property.  When he handed me his card, sure enough, he was a drummer.  He was from the same state Soul Mate lived.  He was from a teeny-tiny town in that state. I couldn’t help but feel as if God had answered my prayer by sending a musician FROM Soul Mate’s state, as if to say it would remain in my life.  It was confirmed ALL the more when I came home, got on line to find out Soul Mate was playing in this same teeny-tiny town Joey was actually from!  I would soon learn it was just the beginning of  many strange “coincidences” to come. I eventually learned in time that what was happening was called synchronicity.   I stood on this beach again today.  For a moment I remembered the innocence of what was happening to me back in 2002.  Today I am in a different place.  I discovered I am not near as naïve as I was back then…………………and perhaps I have truly found peace in what isn’t and what is.

I’m sad and disappointed in myself because I’ve not been able to keep up with my Bible Reading, much as I was determined to do it.  I may not make reading it in 90 days, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try to read it in 180 days!  It’s just been too hard because I’ve been on the go so much.

And with that, eyes heavy, I really need to go to sleep so I will head to bed.  I feel relaxed, a bit sunburned, and sleepy.  I truly am at a place of healing from this journey I have walked for so very long………………..having put a lot of things in perspective now, but I will write more on that as my free-spirit journey continues.

As the faith, love and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  I truly am beginning to put it all into perspective and am happy to report that today, as I stood on that beach I stood on back in 2002,  I didn’t have to cry out to make it all go away.  These days I am crying out to understand truth and wisdom in my life, for I believe if these things come, then I will no longer hurt.  And I do sometimes hurt.   Emma said something to me today that perhaps has finally awakened to me the “WHYS?”  Those whys meaning the dreams, visions, etc.  But more on that as the days of my free-spirited journey continue on.  I do and will always send you love and light.  And hope you are truly living in happiness and love.  Goodnight, Love, Sunshine