Faith is spiritualized imagination

I think that today can be considered a real down day for me.  No, not down mentally, but as far as not feeling rushed to do anything or be anything.  I slept till about 7:30, after a good night’s sleep I was ready to get going.

I began with a meditation hike.  A long almost hour hike.  A time to talk to God. Actually, it was a time I think God wanted me to face my fears, or even look deep enough to see them.  Why is this?  Everytime I think I have it all together and I’ve emptied out just about all I can, as I draw closer to Him, I find more?!! UGH!  So I faced it as I walked and talked to Him.  I cried real tears on this hike!  Poor dogs!  They took the blunt of it all, as I expected them to be as disciplined as I was!  “NO PULLING!” I scolded Lilly on more than one occasion.  Still, I think God was doing a work in me.  Tonight, I am out of touch with the emotions I had this morning. Does that mean that those fears are emptied?  I don’t have the answer to that for sure, but I think that there are some still buried.

Then it was time for pool floating.  A time where I just lay and meditate.  Sometimes I talk to God, well, a lot I talk to God.  And then sometimes I fall into a daydream.  Probably and most likely about soul mate.  Still, always, or whatever, he is so close and on my mind.  And I floated, and floated.  Like 3 hours worth!  Yes, if you look closely at the new photo here, you will see lots of red splotches!  It’s called sunburn!  But I turn brown the next day so by tomorrow the red splotches will be gone! Life seemed to just be good as I floated.  Time for so many uninterrupted thoughts.

I did talk with my Realtor in the city.  I made an appointment to see 3 more houses in the city on Friday before I leave for the Outer Banks.  Time is drawing near I feel.  Of course I could be wrong, but something is pushing me to find where it is I am supposed to be.  Will I find it in the city tho?  I tell myself yes, because it seems the natural plan.  Still, something feels amiss to me about everything.  But don’t ask me to explain what that means.

A lot of my day was spent in anticipation of the radio interview tonight.  I wasn’t really nervous, but still incredibly amazed at how this has all come about.  Wondering more if all that I have seen in my spirit is really going to come into being.  It sure appears to slowly be unfolding that way.  Still, I remain just me wondering how this all is going to happen?  Guess one step at a time as I walk forward.

I remained very relaxed the rest of the day until 7:30 came, which was the scheduled time I set up with “V,”  radio hostess of dream interpretation.  I really didn’t know what to expect and decided just to go along with however it happened.  “V” and I talked for quite awhile before we began the actual interview.  A nice conversation as we are very similar in our beliefs and faith.  That part was nice.  Then we began.  Most of it was my journey the past 6 years and how this one dream truly was very meaningful in retrospect to all that was happening in my life.  The dream came from September of 2002.  Odd how God would choose 5 years later to reveal to me some of the truths of this dream?  “V” was helpful in pulling out in me some of the journey, and things I hadn’t realized until now.  Like how I myself needed to wake up!  “Chris” as I have so affectionately named soul mate for the sake of anonymity, represented me in a lot of ways in the dream according to “V.”  When the show airs and the link becomes available I will post it here.  It was very insightful as we talked about what God has done in my life for a very long time.  After the interview was finished, of which I must admit, I wasn’t nervous at all, we talked for another hour.  “V” said, “I NEVER keep people on the phone like this!”  But she wanted to share with me some dreams she has had and how God had used them in her life.  I shared with her some of my own dream experiences.  As we hung up she told me she had no doubt that I was very gifted in the prophetic areas, but I have to trust those gifts more, as they aren’t for me, they are for those I see things for.  I think she is right.  It’s so hard tho!   

We parted she’d like for me to do another show and another dream in a few more weeks.  Actually the fact I am going to be in her area Saturday night THRILLED her!  She wants me to go to her church Sunday morning. A church of the prophetic she shares with me.  So, will I?  I’d like to, but as is normal, hubby will probably NOT want me to do this.  So, if God is sending me there, as I find this way too coincidental that all of this is falling together the way it is, then He will find a way to get me there.  For now, I have made a new friend.  One who is VERY gifted in dream interpretation, and is beginning her own journey of sorts of where God is sending her.  I am fascinated, and humbled beyond belief at how God is opening doors for all of this!  Sometimes I just don’t get it, but I don’t think I’m supposed to. I think I’m just supposed to follow the light that leads.

Funny how there was a lot of talk of Chris tonight. I can’t explain how that happens but it does.  She had so many questions on who this Chris was to me.  All I could say is, “He’s someone that is so special to me.” It wasn’t the time to get into soul mates or twin souls or anything like that. I only call it soul mates because it is the closest thing I can find to describe whatever this is, but how do you explain that in 45 minutes?  You don’t.  So “special” seemed fitting.  “He awakened so many gifts within me!” I told her, “I didn’t know I even was a writer till he came into my life, and suddenly everything within me woke up!”  “Ahhhhh……..like the dream!” She acknowledged!  And 276?  Her interpretation?  2 – pairs.  God works in pairs. 7 – God’s perfection.  He is perfecting within me all He called me to, and 6?  6 – In God’s image. I am created in God’s image therefore everything is perfect.  Interesting!  Does it ring true with me she asked.  Yeah, maybe?  I just know it is a very special number that surrounds soul mate and I.  But again, how do you explain that?!  So I listened to what she was seeing, and I tried to see it too.  Some things were right on, some were not as clear.  It was a time tho to just share a journey I’ve been on. 

After talking I began to feel creative and wanting to change my page, thus the new look!  When you see me have a new look, it usually means I am feeling restless and wanting to try something new.  Perhaps it is a bit of boredom in my life at the moment, actually having a down day?  Or perhaps it is taking one more step tonight to what I believe it is God has been calling me to for a long time, meaning sharing the journey with people?  Or maybe it is summer all around me, my favorite and happiest season and wanting to share it.  Or maybe, it’s a bit of all of the above.

Now, I will head to bed. I know I had a dream last night about soul mate, but I lost it when I woke up and I can’t remember it?  I only know it had to do with him calling me and telling me that yes, it was him.  Yeah, I was happy to have answers to so many questions, but knowing him and I, it would only lead me to more questions!  J  I hope I get an instant replay on the dream tonight. (Yes, I have had this happen before.)  But if not, I do know after speaking with “V” tonight, it is time I pay a lot more attention to my dreams.  So much wisdom filled in dreams, but how many will listen to them and dig deep enough to see the meaning?  I will.  I am a believer in how they lead, and I think that “V” left me with this tonight, she wants me to become more and more knowledgeable in interpretation.  Seems she sees something in me. As she hung up she said, “You truly are a ray of Sunshine.”  I felt flattered and humbled beyond words.

God is doing such a work in me right now.  Getting me ready for something. I know what I’ve seen is up ahead, but for the life of me I don’t know or can imagine how I will get there? In the getting ready tho it seems there is a LOT of stuff He has to get out of me.  Like heavy baggage will slow the journey down if I continue to hold on to some stuff, like fears.  So I throw up my hands and say, “Lord, do whatever you need done!” I am learning that takes a lot of faith to say it and mean it!  And God is taking me at my word as I walk this journey.  This incredible journey of faith.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight-

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  All that I say is true.  How very much you woke me up when you came!  I know it’s so hard to understand, but it shouldn’t be.  It was so very special when we met.  One of those you just knew it was from beyond, and it was!  And my heart for you!  I didn’t know why, but I saw you as a wandering spirit.  You wondered so much if life was even worth it.  I saw in you a sadness that you thought all your chances were gone.  You’d burned one too many bridges. But you hadn’t!  God’s love was SO real in me for you, but how could I ever tell you that?  It was all I ever wanted for you, to know and feel that love.  And believe again!  I wanted to take your hand and walk to the light together. I was having my own awakening at the same time.  Did I know all of this before tonight?  Yeah, I did.  I just didn’t realize how strong it all was.  Now, I share it with you as best I can.  Could words really ever describe what it was we shared with one another in that moment of time?  No, words cannot.  But who we are today speaks wonders of it all.  Where we are, where we are going and where our hearts are.  You and me……there is SO much more meaning than I could ever begin to explain. For tonight, crazy as it may seem to whomever reads this, I trust it so very much.  I hold on to what is in my heart, and there, it is you.  I also hold on to God’s love and how it is poured out upon those that trust and believe.  Please, believe….but I think you do.  It’s so simple my friend, and so beautiful. The gift given, you to me, me to you.  I send you love and light.  A lot said tonight,  please know, it is all spoken in faith and in love.  It’s the only thing I could ever give you.  I hope it warms your heart.  Goodnight *she closes her eyes and sees his face*  Love, Sunshine