I awoke to thunderstorms this morning.  A sense of security filled me when I could roll over and go back to sleep.  Even Pete and Lilly didn’t want to go out!  I laid and I thought. About so many things.

I act as if it was early, guess it must have been 8:00.  I fell back to sleep, awaking the next time at 8:30. I have got to stop this!  Late nights, sleeping in. Well, I wish it didn’t have to stop. I am best on this schedule.  I ask, are those artist hours?

I knew a meditation hike was out. I tried to convince myself this was okay, except, I like to do morning workouts right now. I busied myself with other things, like those things I opted out of yesterday so I could float in the pool. When I was finished, I notice the clouds had parted. I hurried onto weather.com and saw I had a break between storms. If I hurried, I could get my suit on and head to the health club and do a pool workout. It still remains my favorite.  That is what I did!

I got in 45 minutes of laps.  Mostly power walking in the water, but I also notice I am picking up the number of laps I am swimming. Once again I think this proves all the working out this summer is building endurance within me.  Then it began to sprinkle. Then it was harder. It wasn’t that I couldn’t swim in the rain, because I found that to be incredibly freeing! BUT, I had my ipod and deck plugged in and on a lawn chair and had NO place to put it. Thus, I had to get out.  I was glad I got my 45 in!

I came home.  I still say that something has happened the past week and I am ready to live again. Or have begun to live or whatever the heck is going on! So I began to meditate a bit on what I am feeling.  I had questions.  When don’t I?  What is going on with me?  I thanked God for whatever it is because I feel so excited in my spirit, but what, oh what is happening as I can’t see anything with my eyes? It’s this deep inner knowing.  Yes, I believe I was given great revelation on something, but it didn’t come till about 8:00 tonight when the veil of knowledge seemed to fall over me and I went, “Oh WOW!  You think?!”  Who I was talking to I have no clue, perhaps the Holy Spirit who had begun to answer the questions I’d been asking all day.  More on this revelation in a moment.

I had a day for me.  I love it!  After my swim I came home and fixed a small sandwich, turned on the TV, found a movie about Judy Garland on, and got lost for a time.  Watching Judy, thinking how my mom had loved her as a kid, and once again thinking a bit deeper than I guess most would.  They are gone now, Judy and my mom. However, the legacy of Judy lives on in me, as does my mom, and my daughter who absolutely loves both the “Wizard of Oz” and “Meet Me In St. Louis!” (A movie my mom introduced her to when she was little, as it was one of her favorites.)  Did Judy have any idea the generations to follow that would still feel so very connected to her?  That song,  “Somewhere Over the Rainbow?”  Even Skylar now loves, “The Wizard of Oz.”  She will be the 4^th generation after my mom to grow up with Judy.  And Judy’s life was not all that great!  Funny how things are not as they seem. Yet, she lives on. So very deep this eternity thing!

After I watched Judy, I had decided to give my friend Spirit Bear a call. This is the first time we have done this.  It was a day he was in between his new old job and his old job he quit to go back to the job he had before that job. Well, you get the idea.  Sometimes when I first talk in real life to those I have met via my journal, I am a bit unnerved. Oh, I don’t know a stranger for the most part, but you never really know what to expect.  It didn’t take long and we were talking like old friends.  A really nice conversation of which I learned things of my friend I’ve been sharing with now for over a year that I still didn’t know.  I can’t explain what I’m about to try to explain, but it happened.  He had written me late last night with some very heart-wrenching issues going on in his world.  I felt so sorry for him.  As I wrote him back, what happens sometimes happened last night, “something” takes over the words.  I began to see a woman that is soon to come into his life.  Spirit Bear believed he had met his twin soul, but has since come to realize, she really isn’t, or so he has lost faith that she is.  Long story, as I was writing my thoughts to him, I began to see a woman. I could only describe her as possibly blonde. I say “possibly” because when you see certain things in spirit, it is so hard to see clearly.  PLUS! There is so much light around this woman!  The light is so clear to me, that I can’t tell what is hair and what is reflecting off of hair, if that makes sense? I see huge smiles on her.  She is a very beautiful inner person!  I can’t explain this to SB as I am writing him, I only tell him that one day, he will live in the Ozarks with this woman that will come and he will thank God that the door closed with the one he thought was his twin soul to open the window to the woman to come.  That was how I left it with him last night in my last email.

Then came today.  As we are talking on the phone and we bring up this subject, suddenly something takes over my words, and I begin to tell him what I had seen last night. I describe it just as above.  He is quiet.  “I will like her!”  I tell him.  “I just know I will really like her.”  He is still quiet.  For a moment.  “That’s so interesting!” He begins, “In meditation when God began to tell me about a woman to come, I saw EXACTLY what you saw!  And like you, I couldn’t quite make out if she was blonde either because the light behind her was so bright!”  YES!!  I am NOT crazy!!! Ha ha!  Actually, I am like the 3^rd or 4^th person to describe her to him.  He has a bit more detail on her that I didn’t have about her, but the description was very accurate.  

It was a wonderful conversation filled with endless talk of spiritual matters and how so many people are coming to find a new path in their lives.  It’s no longer a matter of religion we both agree, it is a matter of love and Spirit.  God’s spirit.  I was lost as we talked of so many incredible happenings in each of our lives.  He blesses me beyond belief as he tells me my writing is amazing. I am humbled beyond words as I try to explain that something takes over when I write.  Something so very deep.  “I remember in 2003 when God asked me if I would be his hands and his heart to love? If I’d be his feet and his legs to take the message?”  “Sure Lord! I will!” I said over and over.  Surely this is what is happening with me?  Still, I am just me. My hands just belong to God.  And as I explained to my friend today, “When I write, it is for him, Soul Mate.  Like it is my way of reaching into his heart and his world, if only for a moment. It is my touch to him.”  It sounds so crazy I guess, but he seems to understand. He notes how awesome it is to have found someone in my life that touches me that deep. I agree.  And soon, he will understand it too.  “She” is coming to him.  Only, he will be prepared when she comes, which I was NOT when soul mate came to me, even though I had seen and been told it was to happen.  But then, every story is different!

Once again “something” begins to speak words out of my mouth!  Where they are coming from amazes even me!  “My friend!  When most twin souls meet, they have to separate.  It’s almost as if they find one another to wake each other up, then they have to walk their journey back to the light. Once they have grown enough, they find their way back to one another! As in my case.  He and I had to separate, to grow separately, yet, for us, we do it together too because of my journal! But YOU!  You and “she” will not have to separate!  You two will be one of the rare stories that have grown and transformed before being brought together.  When you two come together, you will already be prepared to do the work you are meant to do.”  Again silence.  He was completely silent.  “Hello?  You still there?” I ask.  “Yeah, I’m here. Wow! I know we have a work to do together!”  As he begins explaining what he has been shown.  Again, I have no way to know this, but I see it.  It is that veil of knowledge to be shared with him that they will be prepared when the time comes.  He is excited now!!  Believing in life again!  I am incredibly high myself! I mean, WOW!  I am SO blessed to see what I am seeing!  I might add, it is very rare for this to happen with such clarity!  And once again, I am stand in awe by where all this journey is taking me!

And I know!  If it hadn’t been for soul mate coming into my life, Spirit Bear would have never found me because I never knew I could write till soul mate woke me up and the passion became alive and I started this place for him!  Okay, do you see what I mean?  Everything is SO divinely planned for just the perfect moments of what are to come!

Earlier in the day a message on my cell phone from my LA friend, whom I use to refer to as CA, and I will now refer to as Arlene, because she is!  The message was SO full of life!  How her LA day was to be spent!  Touching me so beyond belief because I realize what my life is becoming these days!  Time spent with new friends from all over the country!  The message was SO fun, I even let hubby listen to it tonight.  He laughed and looked at me with the craziest look.  He sees what is happening and it seems to me, it is no longer something he is afraid of!  “You REALLY need to get your book written, and all these romance novels!  Then you can spend a lot of time in LA!”  He knows I am not the same.  He’s not quite sure what to do with it, but I think he is slowly beginning to understand that of which for so very long he tried to stop.  Is a work being done in him? Or timing?  It was ALWAYS about timing!

Now, about that deep revelation shown me earlier tonight.  Something has happened this week that I really can’t explain. An excitement of sorts like something HUGE has happened, when it hasn’t?!  Tonight it hit me!  Things happen in the Spiritual realm LONG before they happen here on earth!  When we are really attuned to the spirit, our spirits rejoice in battles won, or mountains moved within that realm, which in turn eventually moves things on the earth!  In other words, it is finalized in heaven before it is finalized here and I am feeling it from that place!  Thus, this excitement I feel SO alive with! Even tho nothing has really changed that I can see with my eyes.  I have no clue what it is?  I wasn’t shown that part, only that something major is happening in the kingdom of which I come from.  *she closes her eyes, smiles, she senses warmth*

I truly am amazed at where this journey is taking me right now. Yes, I whine because I have to go back to work 2 weeks from today. BUT, does ANYONE know all that will happen in the next 2 weeks?  I will leave for Amy’s house Thursday morning because Friday morning at 8:30 a.m., Gabrielle Cora (Bre) will be born.  My 3^rd grandchild.  Emma, Joel and Drew will be home for this event tomorrow evening.  We will all be together this weekend to celebrate Bre’s arrival.  I will remain at Amy’s till next Tuesday when Amy is scheduled to come home.  I have to, Chad will be at the hospital with Amy and Bre. I will keep Skylar at her house. It’s SO much easier than driving the 70 miles back and forth each day.  I will be on line! So I will be journaling the new arrival.  Me! Grandma of 3?!  OMG!! *Soul mate help! I’m only 25 honest!!!!*  *laughs*  But even tho I am so young, I will do the best I can to be a good grandma to all 3. WITHOUT interfering!  Okay, a little spoiling never hurt any grandchild, did it?  And did anyone notice I got the word, grandma out without stuttering or choking?!!! NOW that my friends is GROWTH!  J

So that takes till the middle of next week.  Then, I will have Wednesday to myself. I’ll need it!  On Thursday, it’s off to the wedding that has been such a nightmare to me since my birthday, which is March 18!  I’m doing good tho. I’ve surrendered to God’s will about all this!  I will be loving and kind.  God granting me the serenity to accept those things I cannot change!  Love. It’s all about love in the end.  When I get back to that kingdom of which I have come I want it to be said love was my guide!  That includes things as this wedding! Even if they have not been very nice to me, I will love! 

Speaking of the “wedding,”  I did order 2 dresses on line.  One came today already!  Now I know why I never order on line!  It just really doesn’t fit right!  The top is WAY too big! The rest fit, but it is HUGE on the upper half. Now what?!  I pray the next dress is beautiful and fits well! After all, if it doesn’t then I am back to square 1!  What to wear?  See! I do care and am doing the best I can to make Jason proud of his mom.  I must be as beautiful on the inside as I am trying to make the outside!  *smiles*

Now, I will close.  A very incredible stormy day, and yet, the most beautiful things happening. Perhaps God rained down upon me a very powerful day in the Spirit as well as a natural rainfall?!  I think it was a day of  touching heaven changing earth perhaps?  I like that thought!

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  What is happening? I feel as if it is already done. You here, me there, and all this incredible warmth between us, and I don’t even know it is you!  But I do! I do!! How do I know?  Because there is NO ONE I feel this with but you?!  And it is you, it is you!  And we grow……apart and together or however it is, I simply surrender tonight to a truth of that to be.  I feel warm and blessed because I was shown you, and you came, and you left, but never really left. I still have the footprint you left. It sits on my heart.  When I am in these romantic moods, I can’t always put into words what I feel. So I go to this place where others understand the lunacy and the craziness of such deep feelings of bliss and love and hope.  Today, words would suddenly fly from me so I posted them on this message board that others meet to share their own romantic ramblings.  I found myself closing my eyes and seeing our story, my story, your story, in poetry ramblings.  And I’d think of you. I never share what I write in that place as it remains a place for me to be anonymous and write so deep what it is I feel in ways I never felt free to do here……..but tonight, I want to share it with you.  Somehow, I feel you will understand what it is I write….so very deep, and yet, from a place in my heart that sees a place we will one day meet again………..I hope you read them and feel the love and mystery of you and me:

In my first ramblings: 

RE: Waves of Blue for a Ramble......

Like waves upon a sea of blue
She sits and wonders who is who
The sun so bright, love so near
Where is it he….where is he clear
No wonder she wonders how waves pass
With so much hope it’s she, his lass……..
And time goes by and she watches it fly
And waves roll in and out she’ll cry
Like waves upon a sea of blue
She sits and wonders for who is who…….

And the seagulls cry…………….

Then, someone responds with their own heart ramblings, and I respond with my 2^nd, YOU on my mind of course!  

And over the seagulls cry......

Upon a cliff, she watches from
Where oh where is her daily crumb
She wishes, she dreams, she’s so far gone
She now waits for the morning’s dawn
Now it is the first morn’s light
She looks for him as a seagulls in flight
And down below lovers in the sand
Where or where is her magic man’s hand
And lovers love on the sandy shore
She’ll wait forever and ever more
From a cliff she watches from…..
Waiting and waiting for her daily crumb…..

And waves roll upon a sea of blue………waiting, waiting, waiting for you…………magic man…….

And the seagulls cry.

Now I no longer need a response!  Words are coming faster than my fingers can type!  Here is my last for the day…………but so very prophetic I believe!

Re: Speaking of That Ocean Blue........and rambles

Away, away, she flies away
Waiting, waiting for the day….
A soldier's return may one day be
A soldier, a soldier (he yells in the dark) no…no, it’s me!
I know it’s you, I know it’s you!
Tell me, tell me, what was I to do!
I danced and circled and got lost in time
Lost in a poem, without a rhyme…….
And now you’re here, I’ve flown for sure
Love is love, I learned to endure
Meet me, meet me at passion’s gate
We’ll dance, we’ll dance so don’t be late!
The dream is real, assured to come true
As she sits and dreams on an ocean blue

As the seagulls cry, and an ocean breeze flows through her hair………

Oh my soul mate, please see into my heart and know that I simply touched a place I so seldom allow myself to touch when I wrote these things.  Remember when you said I was going through a process………yes, yes!  And finally, I can touch within me a place I was so afraid to touch!  I am free in so many ways than I was back then.  Time has a way to arrange so many things………I will always believe.  In you.  No matter what. I will always know what it was I was given.  I send you love and light. No expectations, unless you want them…………then, we will find out what free really is.  Deep huh!?!!  I hope you can touch that of which I have. Forever and always,  touch real.  Have a beautiful night…….Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine