I’ve been really busy today.  Tell me something new, right?  I had no down time, unless you call wrapping presents down time. I suppose that could be,  I mean I turn on satellite radio to Christmas songs, and light candles as I wrap.  But it’s not really being still and just relaxing either.  I at least got to sleep in today. 8:30am is good. I do this tho, I run, run, then catch up on sleep.

I began the day by wrapping presents. Skylar and Bree are spending the weekend here so I am trying  hard to get all the presents wrapped and under the tree for that. I’m sure they will be so very excited!  My time is so limited, that I knew I had to get it done today.  This morning!  But I didn’t get it done because I ran out of boxes, and pretty wrapping paper too.  Besides, I had to meet Jane for lunch, then I had to take a class this afternoon at the university on travel. A big part of my job I have procrastinated on for a year thinking I’d be moving to the city.  I finally broke down and took it today, trading with my boss the 4-hour class time for Christmas Eve Day off.

That pretty much took most of the rest of my day. When I got home at almost 5:00, I ran to the dollar store for boxes, more wrapping paper, and tape.  And I wrapped tonight, and wrapped some more. I only have a few more gifts to go, until I buy the rest of what I need to get. I have the grandkids done, I have Amy something, Chad something, but that is it. I have to get the rest of “my” kids, and spouses stuff.

Enough of my hectic, yet boring day, unless you want to talk about Form 25 or Form 17’s or Form 1’s.  Well, never mind. My brain is fried!  J

I can’t believe this! I got an email from a guy wanting to negotiate with me about advertising here on my journal his services!  He would pay me if he would be able to do this!  I think that means I have gotten noticed or something by the hits I do receive according to Brave Journal. I decided not to responded to his email.  Why?  Because this is a site of love and light.  A truth of a journey.  God’s love and mercy and stuff. I just don’t think advertising an on-line casino quite fits with what this place is about.  About the only thing I think would fit would be eharmony or something! LOL.  I told Dell about the offer, and he just couldn’t believe I wouldn’t consider it. This place really isn’t for sale. It’s about love.  The love I share with someone so far away……………..and the lessons I have learned because of.  It’s about a whole lot more people too, there is NO way I would promote this.  But secretly, I admit, it was really kind of exciting to get noticed!!!! *ops, prideful*

I am so glad that my kids handled Christmas this year!  All the plans have now been made and I am secretly joyous in my heart as this hasn’t happened for 3 years!  Christmas Eve all my kids, Amy, Jason, and Joel, their spouses, the kids, we are all going to Christmas Eve services, then heading home for our traditional hor dourves night, where we fix our favorite finger foods.  We will all spend the night at Amy’s and be together Christmas morning to see what Santa brings the little ones!  Skylar is SO aware of Santa this year!  Last year she cried on his lap, this year, she talked his ear off telling him all she wished for.  Joel and Emma, Jason and Susie will leave at noon to go celebrate with the other side of the family, but this year, I get them the way it use to be on Christmas.  It seems so special to me, perhaps because I am so unsure where this earth is going these days!  But at the risk of not being negative, I won’t go there.  I am very excited about Christmas this year, and I didn’t even have anything to do with planning it!  Wow!!

Last Christmas was the worst!  Amy was throwing up all day.  Chad’s parents who had been spending Christmas with us were throwing up too. Here I had spent over $200 in food and NO one ate!  I got the same flu that night, waking up at Amy’s sick as a dog and having to drive the 80 miles back by myself so sick.  It was awful! I swore then I would NEVER plan a huge meal on Christmas again, and this year, we’re not.  Amy will make potato soup, and we’ll eat left-over hor dourves.  Of course I’ll have the breakfast casserole and fruit salad for breakfast while we open presents.  Yes, it will be different than last year when I learned the flu doesn’t know what day of the year it is! Even if it’s one of the most sacred!

Listening to Christmas music while I wrapped presents this evening made me a bit nervous.  This is probably going to sound crazy, but I’m not ready to hear the song, “Merry Christmas Darling.”  For SO long that was the song I would sing to “him” every year for the past how many years? Oh yeah!  7!!  I just hoped it wouldn’t come on the satellite radio today.  And it didn’t! *whew*  I still have how many days to hear it tho before Christmas?  The thing is I am really doing okay with accepting that things are the way they are, but there’s just some things that sometimes remind me of where it is now. Or is that where it isn’t?  “Merry Christmas Darling” would be one of those reminders.

Not to be gloom and doom, but there is all this talk right now about twin major earthquakes supposedly to happen between today and Saturday. It’s predicted by the web bot, which is an interesting program that they say thus far has been pretty much 100% accurate.  I don’t follow the web bot that much, and couldn’t begin to explain how it works, but I am in fact sort of curious about this prediction. Not curious in a good way, but all the same, curious.  There is talk it could be the New Madrid fault, which would affect me quite a bit.  Perhaps that is why I am curious?  Living in the Midwest one feels fairly protected from earthquakes, and I personally have NEVER experienced one, tho we have had them from time to time, I just never felt them as I was either driving or asleep.  Not that I want to feel one now either!  The earliest dream I remember ever having was one of of an earthquake. I was probably 6-years old and I remember the sky being a bright orange and the world was rumbling.  I looked out my bedroom window to see the ground open up and I woke up, you guessed it, SCREAMING!  All these years later that dream has remained with me as I’ve never forgotten it.  I’m talking 6 YEARS OLD!  So perhaps this is why I am curious about this web bot prediction. Guess I won’t have to be curious too long, will I?

And with that I think I will head to the hot tub.  I am sitting here chilling as I write. I believe the sky is clear, it’s an almost full moon, and the water temp in my hot tub is set at 103.  Ahhhhhhh………………………so perfect to sit in and have my down time. I have a lot on my mind tonight, mostly I think of this earthquake thing, and of course my journey and where it is leading now. And I will confess no matter how much I convince myself that this thing with Chris is over………………why is there something within me that whispers it isn’t?  Questions I will just have to talk to God about, so I think I’ll head there now.  And soak it all away as I look up at the night sky, laced with beautiful studded-diamond stars and an almost full moon.  And all will be okay in my soul because God is so near.  Always so near.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Chris:  I’m doing okay with it finally.  Still so glad you’re in my life, and so glad that you still think of me and come to read the words, or is that a daily call to check in? *laughs*  Or perhaps it’s just a need to touch an old friend and make sure she is still there to send you that love and light.  I once promised you I would always be here……………..and I am and will.  But I won’t look at the full moon and think of a slow dance to “La La Means I Love  You.”   You need to be dancing with someone else under a full moon these days, and I need to not dream of it.  Gesh!  Is this how you have felt for 8 long years?  Just remember it is different for me, because I was married when we met……………you have just fallen in love and married, so I think it’s different and I really need to tread lightly.  Even tho I KNOW SO many stories out there have taken turns as this one has lately.  But I won’t think about it or try to figure it out. I simply will be happy as I discover new roads to travel for now, but always, ALWAYS sending you love and light no matter which road I am on.  And I send that to you now…………love and light.  Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine

Tonight's song is very deep and meaningful as I enter a new season of my life...............