The snow stopped falling today and the sun tried to come back out.  In a way it feels sort of what my life has been the past week.  Except I really don’t want to compare my life to snow, because I so don’t like the powdery white stuff………..although okay, sitting on my sun porch and looking through the now barren forest that my backyard borders on is very beautiful.  But that’s about all  of snow I will find good about.

My day began at my doctor’s appointment.  At least I slept last night. I had some old drops I had gotten for an earlier ear infection last April. I had used those till I could get in today and they must of worked.  My appointment was at 9:40am.  Gesh! I was sicker than I thought I was!  3 prescriptions and $66 AFTER my excellent prescription coverage through the university paid the majority of, I realized this wasn’t all in my head!  Well, I guess it was in my head as I have an ear infection, and sinus infection.  The doctor was amazed I haven’t been running a fever and have kept going! I think it’s that #1 affirmation I do every day,  “I walk in divine health for by the stripes of Jesus I am healed!”  Okay, so I still have to obviously seek medical attention from time to time, but at least I kept going until that time came.

I’m not sure I can explain this, but it happens.  No matter where I go it seems my path crosses with someone who is in the midst of a heartache from whom they deem their soul mate.  Yes, it happened again today.  A gal I crossed paths with out of nowhere suddenly began telling me her sorrows and heartbreaking story.  I’m sure she couldn’t understand why she was pouring this all out on me, but by now this has become common place for me.  “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this?”  She suddenly said as she realized this pain coming from her heart.  “It’s okay, I’m a writer, and I talk to women from all over the world with soul mate stories.” I assure her.  “Oh, my life could be a book!”  She tells me.  And we go further into her story.  The heartbreak.  Can I say for sure this is a twin soul story?  I don’t want to water that term down because I DO believe meeting a twin soul in this life is a very rare occurance, but on the other hand, the pain is real, the story is real, it’s lasted for 9 years, she’s done all she could to walk away, and no matter how hard she tries, it just doesn’t seem to let go of her.  Are there more twin souls finding one another these days?  Lise and I talked about this yesterday, she believes it’s so, just because of the times we are living in.  So I listen to this gal who obviously is doing her best to let go of the pain.  But where we are and the situation we find ourselves in doesn’t allow me to begin to elaborate on the answers.  Okay, so there probably ISN’T an answer, but where we happened to meet didn’t allow me to tell her the first and most important thing if she is in fact living a twin soul journey, and that IS: *drum roll……..*  “It’s not a destination, it’s a journey.”  She gave me her phone number and asked me to call her sometime; she’d like to talk more.  I gave her my journal address.  I don’t know if anyone finds answers here, but I think those walking the journey sure do find some sort of comfort, or at the least, a safe haven that says, “I’m not insane, there are others going through this too.”

As I got in my car I thought to myself,  “Do I have “soul mate therapist” written across my forehead?  *laughs* Like I have answers!  Although I will say this, I have gone through so much pain myself with my own journey, of which I believe God has graced me with so much peace and wisdom in the process, that I believe I have been called to help others.  But humbly I admit it was just this past weekend I had to call on some people to get me through a rough 24-hour period!  And that is why we travel in pairs I have decided.

Speaking of which,  Dovey, who has walked the journey with me for a long time sent me a dream she had of me the other night. It was actually before she knew my twin had gotten married.  The dream was very much a message dream I believe, with a clear meaning.  I won’t tell the whole dream, but here is a quick overview;

She and my twin are waiting in a waiting room while I am having surgery.   During this time she notices that twin spends an awful lot of time on the telephone, but he is waiting to care for me when it is over. Both of them are………

I know what I saw in the dream. It’d be interesting to see what some of those walking the journey with me see in the dream.  If you have an interpretation, please email me. 

After all my running this morning, Jane called me when she got off work,  “Want to have lunch?”  I had to wait for my medicine to be filled any way, I was at a new pharmacy today so it was going to take a bit longer, so I told her I’d meet her.

I was then sentenced to an afternoon at home as I was having some mechanical things done at the “trashed-out” rental, and I had to wait for them to arrive, and then I had to be here for the duration, which was about a 3-hour job.  How embarrassing!  That house still smells so bad and it’s a WORLD better than what it was!  Now that we will officially have heat in there again, thanks to the work done today, I can begin the gutting process of removing floors, painting, replacing some cabinets, etc.  I do think all the mice are gone now.  The De Con must have worked wonders. 

I spent most of the afternoon then writing.  Yes, writing!  Working on, “The Journey of Faith.”  I am beginning to believe that this is a project that is meant to get finished.  It is quite obvious now that this is going to end up being one of a sequel probably, as there’s a lot of twists and turns!  There will also be a lot of journals  shared in the process too.  The more women just seem to be drawn to me with their stories the more I realize that this is beyond “coincidence.”  I believe it is a calling at this point.  And it all began so long ago, I just had NO clue what those early journals from God meant when in the 90s He told me, “My child you are getting ready to go on a journey.  If I told you where it would lead you you’d never believe me, so I won’t, but I want you to prepare your heart to walk in the most faith you could ever imagine.”  Yes, this was back in 1997, four years before the journey began!  So I do believe the book needs to be completed.

I only hope there is time.  I know, no one wants to hear this part, but it’s like a little gnawing feeling that just doesn’t go away.  Life is about to change in major ways for all of us.  I think we are all about to face some very challenging times. No, this is not meant in any way to bring fear, but it is meant to be a warning of some sort to prepare your hearts and to seek God on what He might have you do for preparation.  No, thus far He has NOT had me stock-pile food or anything, tho I will admit there is a faint feeling that time may be coming.  It’s sort of like almost a year ago, around the beginning of 2008. I had this faint feeling that the time was coming I was to pull out of the stock market.  My journals from about a year ago talk about this.  It was just a faint feeling, then that one day, *poof*  God spoke CLEARLY!  “Pull out of the stock market TODAY!”  That was in June.  Need I say more?  So what I am doing here is asking those that read here to be still and listen.  And believe me, I have been wrong before!   But all the same, just please be still and listen.

Now back to the book, there must be a reason I know I am to finish this, right?  So I worked on it a bit today.

I continue to be filled with faith. I talked with Sydney today from school. We’re all going out Friday night for our Christmas dinner and to celebrate Elizabeth’s upcoming birthday.  Of course her first question,  “So are you okay with the latest news?”  (About twin getting married.) “Yeah, I really am.  It took me about 24 hours but I think it’s awesome for him.”  Yes I said those words, and I think meant them, tho there is still this little *ouch* within me when I concede to destiny the way I am trying to,  “But what’s really the most awesome part is he continues to come every day.  It just sort of proves to me that he feels what I do.”  After we hung up I thought about what I had told her.  I have come to the conclusion that if “AOL” is he, then these days we’re apparently equal in our feelings.  Perhaps he is feeling what I have since I met him, knowing your heart is so far away, and yet trying to balance where life has you.  He gets to experience what I have, although I could be incredibly wrong I guess.  As I stated above, I’ve been wrong before.  But I don’t think so.  Does this sound crazy if I say I still feel him?  Is that incredibly nuts or what?  Or worst than that am I being selfish?  Or is it this connection thing he once admitted to me he felt too?  Or perhaps it’s all of the above.  Whatever, it’s a journey and I’m learning so much about myself, and meeting the most incredible people with the most incredible stories along the way.

Now, it’s off to the hot tub.  This is my favorite time of year to be out there!  I have to work tomorrow, so I’m glad it’s early which will give me more time to meditate, pray, talk to Chris, talk to God, talk to myself!  And look at the stars through barren trees, and breath in the cold air.  But I will wear a sock hat to cover my ears!  I think that’s wisdom!

As the faith, love, and light lead me on,

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Chris:  Do you know that I had some sort of fear that since you read how I opened my heart as I have the last 24 hours you wouldn’t be back?  I really am going by blind faith that it is you here, but here’s how I see it;  if it is you, then the connection is real and you need the touch like I need the touch and we still need our daily call.  We’re not hurting anyone, but reminding one another that out there somewhere is that person that is special in ways beyond understanding.  BUT, if it isn’t you here, then I’m not hurting anyone because I am simply sending whispers in the wind out to a man who is a newlywed, living his life, and perhaps even forgotten that I am even alive.  But I don’t think that is the case……….my friend Jen says she will always see your face when she surprised you with a message from me.  So whichever it is, you are here, or you’re not here……….somewhere, someone is thinking of you.  And of course sending you love and light and wishing so many beautiful things for your life.  Be blessed wherever you may be.  Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine

Tonight's song is for the gal I met today who told me she didn't think she could take anymore.  She was hurting so much.......and this song is for me too.........as I think how I felt for 24 hours this past weekend and how the love of God got me through. This song explains how we really can survive the pain.........