A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

Life is flying by so quickly for me at the moment Like a whirlwind. I am one that so desperately needs down time, and for now that time seems so hard to find.

My job is incredibly busy. Even tho this is supposed to be the down time. It hasn’t stopped! I am non-stop all day, and even tho I am suppose to get out of there at 2:00, summer hours you know, NONE of us find ourselves leaving much before 3:00 – 3:30. NORMAL TIME! It’s so frustrating! I am SO burned out at the moment.

 Then time is being consumed with the selection of Realtors.  The first Realtors that interviewed came back today with their marketing plan and appraisal.  I was pretty excited about the team concept at the beginning. I was a bit more disillusioned today.  They just didn’t seem to share the vision I have about my property.  A bit disheartening, but at the same time, I understand the work they did put into trying to make a plan.  I think in the end they just don’t see what I do.  I had pretty much wavered between them and the Realtor team of husband and wife that came in last night, of which I mostly knew by the time they left they were the ones I’d go with.  First of all, they shared my vision.  I’m usually a pretty good sense of character, I don’t believe there was ANY sugar coating on their part, just seeing what I see.  They loved the land and were SO excited about it!  I still kept an open mind as to what I would hear back from the first team.  It didn’t take long to close it.  I then got the email from the husband/wife team from last night. Their vision was where mine was.  The email giving me their marketing strategy and their appraisal made me smile.  The disheartening turned to joy when I realized I wasn’t crazy with my thoughts.  Soon, like Monday, I will have my place back on the market.  If it sells there is a chance I could end up in the original log home I kept looking at last October. It remains on the market believe it or not.  I remember hearing God whisper to me in November I believe that this would be where I’d go from here..  But then a few weeks ago I had the vision of the brown house.  Elizabeth asked me the other day,  “Could it be the log home?”  “Yeah, it could be.” I thought to myself.  Time will tell.

Carol, who is helping me across this bridge of transformation, tells me to focus on the tomorrows and where I am going.  Take quick glimpses behind, but keep the focus up ahead.  She is awesome!  Her words remain with me these days as I think about it all.

Elizabeth is still here.  It really isn’t a problem.  We give one another plenty of space. I think it’s working so well. Even with the dogs.  Her dogs now think I’m family too.  We’ve all come a long way these past 2 weeks!!

Odd happenings yesterday!  Call me Grace!  Amy called me at work, having had a scare with her pregnancy.  Anyone that knows of Skylar’s birth knows that Amy almost died, and so did Skylar.  She is on a high-alert pregnancy now, especially over the next month.  Long story short, it turned out to be nothing, but scary all the same.  After I hung up I headed towards Elizabeth’s office.  It was well after 3:00, everyone was gone but her and I.  I was talking to her saying, “I just got off the phone with Amy, it was a scare.”  As I said the words, crazy as this sounds, it felt as if someone TRIPPED me!  I plunged forward and landed flat on my face. Poor Elizabeth!  All she saw was me go down!  “Are you okay?!”  She asked!  “What the h…”  I said in an incredible laughing, I’m SO embarrassed way!  “I swear, someone put a foot out and tripped me!”  We both looked around the floor!  I’m laughing so hard, Elizabeth keeps saying,  “All I say was your head bang down!”  And I’m checking the floor for a dust particle or ANYTHING that could explain my clumsiness!  Nothing there! Smooth as anything!  Now anyone that knows Elizabeth or I, KNOWS weird things happen in our office.  4 years ago my boss at the time dropped dead in the office of a heart attack.  Weird things have happened since, so we always accuse him of not going to the light!  I’m NOT kidding about this either!  Lights turning on and off, music starting, seats in the auditorium going up and down on their own (witnessed by whom I call my favorite boss), books falling out of shelves on their own in the library and actual sightings!  So when this happened yesterday, we laughingly chalked it up to yet another, “oddity!” 

When my favorite boss came in today, Elizabeth just had to tell him about my “trip.”  He laughed!  I knew he would!! But did I laugh at him when he freaked out about the auditorium seat going up and down on it’s own?! NO!  A bit later, I was working, next thing I hear is a THUD!  I look, and RIGHT in the same place I had fallen yesterday lies my favorite boss!  “I just got tripped!” He said dazed, with a smirk on his face, the other 2 bosses joining in on the fun!  I laughed along with them after calling him a dork, or something like that!  Sometimes, you have to laugh at yourself!  But you know what? It DID feel as if someone tripped me!  And of course, I landed on my wrist, the same one I landed on when I fell on the ice in February, which was just starting to heal a bit.  Need I say more?  L  Yes, “Just call me Grace!”

And today was a Jason day.  So much drama going on with this.  Everyone says I should go to the shower Friday, and today was “RSVP” day, but the drama continues to be too much to bear.  TO be honest, I am SO sick of it all!  Lately my threat has been to move to Raleigh, NC.  Now don’t EVEN ask me where this is coming from, but suddenly I keep saying, “I’m going to Raleigh!  There is still some longing within me to go discover.  Discover what I don’t know?  Just some longing to go. Somewhere.  I still am quite enraged to be honest with all that girlfriend has done, and how Jason has changed so much, but right now, I just want to know what it is I’m supposed to do!  Drama………..such drama!  I must be honest to myself.  This person of love and light that I see when I look at me fades QUICKLY when I am dealing with this.  Will I ever be all that I see I am?

One day at a time.  That’s all I can do in all of this!  Just take it all one day at a time and know with all my heart that God does have it all in His hands.  Thank heavens in those hands He holds lots of mercy and grace!  Lately, it seems I’m needing extra doses of those to get me through!!!!

And I’m on a journey.  A story being lived.  A new chapter soon to begin.  There are still lots of days to live until it will actually be time, and those days are unknown to me right now, both the number, and happenings……I only know that I know now, it is soon to happen.

Where? When?  How?  I definitely don’t sing because I have answers……….but I do sing because I have a song.  Placed there by such a beautiful God of love.  The song remains. *wink wink soul mate, remember?*

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight –

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  In all the hustle and bustle of a crazy world I live in now, when I do get quiet time as this moment, where I hear my fountain run, the wind gently blow, and frogs singing, my mind drifts to you.  Do you remember, “The Song?”  Reading it a few years ago?  Of course I’ll never know if that was just some vain imagination or a real memory, but as I hear what I do tonight, I go back to that memory of when the story came to me.  Do you remember?  It talks about sleeping out under the night sky with endless stars.  2 free spirits that found one another one day.  As I hear the quietness and yet soft sounds of the night, I wonder if the story was “real”,  if this is what was heard on those beautiful nights?  Where supposedly “they” slept out under the night sky. I’m sure those nights were beyond beautiful because that love crosses over ages! Of this I am sure. Hey, if it’s not true, then I have a beautiful dream to hold onto, right?  Can’t help but wonder what you must think of all this?  A part of me thinks you believe as much as I do!  And the second we took hands on that rainy day in February, the way you looked at me, you remembered too. But then I think the most incredible things in life will never be proved………those are the things we take in faith.  I take you in faith everyday of my life.  With a whole lot of thanks that you are on this earth when I am.  *smiles*  I send you love and light.  And yes, just in case you know what this means,  “The song is still in my heart.”  Goodnight, may sweet dreams encompass you!  May I be there! J  Love, Sunshine