When the oak is felled the forest echoes with its fall, but a hundred acorns are sown silently by an unknown breeze.

I think today was a day for me to go back to a place I use to reside in my spirit.  A place where I just let everything be as I seek deeper understanding.  Trying hard to go back to where it was I was 7 or more years ago, only not being able to do that because life evolves, and I evolve and where I was 7 or more years ago and where I am today is because of where I was back then.  Deep thoughts.  Back then I didn’t understand everything I was being told was about to happen, and yet, held anticipation in whatever this plan was. Now, I am in the midst of this great plan, but it doesn’t quite seem as magical as it did when I was first given glimpses of where I am today.  It takes a LOT of faith!  Guess that is what God meant when He said, “You will need more faith than you ever thought possible.”  Yup!  He was right.

I continue on with my morning meditation hikes.  A very powerful time this morning.  Truly getting into a place I love.  In this place often comes visions, and glimpses of things I don’t always understand.  Thus, this morning.

One thing I’m being shown right now I will attempt to write, but I’m not sure I can express it in words.  It began about a week ago.  I was waiting for our new Realtors to put up the “For Sale” signs.  It took a few days for this  to happen, but in the meantime I had a “For Rent” sign out, for my rental house next door. (It has since been rented.)  As I waited for these signs to be put up, I kept seeing in vision a tour bus.  It was a tour bus that I had seen 5 years ago yesterday (June 19, 2002). Here’s the story of the tour bus that in a lot of ways changed my life:  I was going to a show where soul mate was performing.  It’d been a year-and-a-half since I’d met him and seen him.  When we got to the venue, we noticed a bus sitting in back.  We laughed about it thinking it was the bus the band was on. I parked my car and we (Elizabeth, Sydney and me) walked around the downtown area and had dinner.  When we came back for the show about 3 hours later, I decided to go to the car and get a sweater fearing it may be cool in the auditorium, or when we came out.  I had sent a note back stage to let soul mate know I was there. I’d asked him to call so we could meet up, but he never did. I figured he didn’t remember me.  Yes, I was feeling sad and probably stupid, seeing as I had front row tickets, which is another story that is beyond believable!  As I went to get my sweater, there was a HUGE tour bus now right next to my car! I mean the glitzy type!  As I got in my car a guy from security came out.  “Who’s car is this?”  “It’s mine.” I confessed.  “You have to move it, the bus wants to park here.”  “Excuse me?”  “You have to move it!”  By now, everyone has arrived for the show, and parking is very limited, most spots gone I am sure.  “Who’s bus is this?” I demanded as if I was someone special!  “The band’s bus!”  He said.  “Well then who’s bus is that over there?” As I pointed to the bus I had seen earlier in the day.  “I don’t know, but you’re going to have to move your car.”  I got tears in my eyes. I mean I’d already suffered the humiliation of sending a note to soul mate, he not responding, now I’d have to move my car to who knows where!  I think the security guard saw my tears.  He showed me compassion.  “Why don’t you park there?”  He said. It was one of those private spots, but he assured me it’d be okay if I did.  This spot was right across the aisle in the same lot.  As I moved my car, the security guard struck up a conversation with Elizabeth.  She explained how I knew someone in the band and had a hard time letting him know I was there.  When I came back from moving my car, he told me he heard I knew someone in the band and asked me who it was?  I told him the name.  He said, “Hold on, I’ll be right back, I’m going to go get him.”  “NO! NO!!” I began to freak out!  “YES, YES!”  said Elizabeth.  Security Dude began to laugh, “Don’t let her leave!”  Elizabeth promised she wouldn’t.  I was so afraid! I mean he didn’t call me!  He probably didn’t even remember me!  “I am going to the car!” I said wanting to run and die of embarrassment!  “No you’re NOT!”  Elizabeth informs me.  Time must have gone on forever in that moment.  My new security friend came back out from back stage and said,, “XXXX is being informed now that you are here.  DON’T MOVE!”  I thought surely I would pass out!  Tears underneath the surface from fear and confusion and wondering just what the heck I was doing here!  Within minutes, tho it seemed hours, out comes security with soul mate walking with him.  Soul mate walked up to me, and gave me a hug. In front of the tour bus, and my friends and everyone!  He did remember me and was thrilled beyond words that I was there!  It was a moment I swore I’d never forget, and haven’t nor will I! (No one gave him the note until later when I told him I had sent it and he went to find it.) I’m confused? Why does this memory of the bus keep coming back to me when I think about the “For Sale” signs being put in my yard?

As I said, it began last week.  But now, the vision of this tour bus is coming more frequently and clearly to me.  Today I asked God what it meant?  And while I’ve not gotten a clear understanding, in my own reasoning I have come up with the following explanations:

1:  That bus was the real thing 5 years ago. It represented the real thing by the size of it alone vs. the littler bus I had seen earlier in the day. Do these signs represent the “real” thing vs. what was there 6 months ago? These signs are the BIG kahuna so to speak?

 2:  Is the tour bus that brought “him” back to me 5 years ago represented in these “For Sale” signs that this is what is going to bring him back to me again one day? 

3:  Are the for sale signs not even related to this vision of the tour bus I keep seeing in my mind and it means something entirely different?

All I know is I keep seeing this bus, and I see it when I look at the signs or think about the signs being out.

SOOOOOOOOO………….chalk me up to looney!  It’s okay!!! We’ve all known this for a long time!!! LOL!  Actually, I receive visions and revelations more when I am walking closely to God, which is the place I am at the moment. It’s like the Spirit moves so much more freely when I am putting God first in everything. I sure do like this place!

I’ve decided to study the Bible again, feeling that God was leading me to do a study on David.  Yes, famed David who slew Goliath, the giant of which everyone was afraid, except David. He had his trusty slingshot!  But more importantly, he had a lot of faith that no giant was as big as God.  That is why I believe he was called a man after God’s own heart.  Of all the Bible characters, I believe David and I are a lot alike. I relate SO much to him!  Surely he was a Pisces!  *kidding* I began my study this morning and already everything is becoming alive to me.  Lessons needed to be refreshed for me pouring forth!  One thing I re-learned this morning?  When God spoke something to someone, it often took several years for it to come into being. It kept jumping out at me this morning.  Why does everyone think things happen overnight I wonder?  Me included!  I have learned tho on this journey I walk, between point A, which is where God shows me what is to come, and point B, which is where it happens is a whole lot of lessons and patience to be learned in between the two points!  I’m not alone in this!  It just must be the nature of the beast on this earthly journey!  Time!!  How it is so fleeting and yet, how it can take forever too.  It’s all about perspective.  And that is how God and I studied together this morning. It was awesome.

Then it was get a little housework done before Elizabeth, and “G” come.  They’re due in the next 45 minutes.  After that I headed to the pool and floated a couple hours.  Yet more quiet mediation time as the tour bus kept flashing through my mind! 

My high school friend Dennis called with the numbers on the Toyota we looked at.  Yeah, right, whatever! I LOVE how they think they’re dealing and I think they’re jacking me around!  I knew I wasn’t supposed to buy a car right now anyway, so it was SO confirmed when he called with what he tried to make me feel was a SPLENDID deal!  Ha ha!!!!  Even if I love Dennis on a personal level, when he’s the car salesman???? *$@)!!! NO WAY!  “I’ll call you back one of these days!”  Think he got the drift?  Honestly, I wasn’t supposed to buy a car anyway.

Later, I returned a call to CA who has left 3 messages for me now!  Not much new in her world.  She wanted me to meet her for the 4^th of July somewhere in Missouri, but I’ll be in the Outer Banks.  Still, if I want I could fly to LA and spend time with her, but I don’t think that is going to happen this summer. The first year in 3 years I’ll miss LA.  It’s okay tho! This is the summer I am to be creative!  LA does not bring out the creative in me! It brings out the “wild” side of me.  Yes, somewhere in me I do have a wild side! 

I didn’t get the gal from the radio show emailed last night, so I did it late this afternoon.  I emailed the dream, and now wait to hear from her.  That in itself is still amazing to me.  I’m not sure when she is going to do the show, she said she’d send me all the information.  Maybe she won’t like the dream content? Or maybe she will think my beliefs are just a bit too much out of the box?  Or maybe it will all happen? I don’t know, I’ve given this one to God for sure!  Just the fact she found me and asked me to be a guest is beyond belief for me.

So now I sit quietly just waiting for Elizabeth to come. Birds singing all around me as the sun has not set yet.  I am sipping strawberry wine tonight, having had a lot of sun today, I feel shivered as the night air comes on and figured a little wine might warm me up on the inside. I look forward to Elizabeth being here, tho I know this is probably the last time for a long time we will see one another.  She told me earlier that she will be into her new house when she gets back from vacation which means she won’t be staying here while I’m gone, which means I need to call my good friend Dave to house sit for me.  I’m leaving a week from Friday!  But whose counting the days?  The beach, the ocean, and my idea of solitary peace.  In a place that has miles and miles of empty beaches.

Soul mate has been gone now for a few days. I am feeling sad.  Always wondering if I did something wrong, and yet knowing that he does have a life!  Actually, after all this time I have no doubt that he’ll be back again…….he’s just living life and doing the best he can.  And I see the tour bus again, and I remember that magical night when a tour bus brought in the most incredible miracle!  Yes, and now, I see new miracles to come! J

But most of all tonight, I like this place I’m in.  Where God is leading me and teaching me once again.  Where I feel so incredibly still that it’s hard for me to even be around people right now! Like a sponge absorbing so many spiritual things, it’s a bit hard to come back to reality.  It’s the filling up season for me.  I will one day empty out all that is given to me today, but for today I get to be filled!  Perhaps I am where I was more than 7 years ago, just grown beyond the simple of those days to learn the simple of these days, or so it will seem when I am more than 7 years ahead of where I am today.  On a journey.  A journey of faith.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight-

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Wherever you are wherever you may be…….I miss you.  But somehow, I don’t think I’m too far from your thoughts.  What a dreamer huh?  It’s okay!  Dreams are within us for a reason.  One day I will understand. Till then? I’ll keep walking in a lot faith not really understanding it all, but so glad it is about you too.  I send you love and light!  Have a beautiful whatever it is whenever you read this.  Goodnight – Love, Sunshine

A special thanks to my friend Snow White for sending me this photo!  She took it out her window one early morning. I LOVE the colors and the serenity of this photo.  Nature all around. This is where I think we touch eternity!  Thanks T!