Tonight finds me writing in a recliner lounger overlooking the hotel pool.  The soft aqua lights shining from the pool, and a gentle flow of traffic driving by on Hwy. 12.  There’s a very strong ocean breeze.  Even tho I am not on the ocean directly, the cape I’m on is no more than two miles wide.  Therefore, even in the absence of being directly on the water, the breeze flows freely.  The smell of the ocean so strong in the air.  I feel so incredibly full of tranquil peace. To me, this is where I belong. The place I feel so alive and free.  Near the water, ocean breezes in my hair.

We spent the morning at Williamsburg Pottery then left for the ocean.  It took us about 5 hours to get here. I am on the southern tip of Cape Hatteras.  The drive wasn’t bad at all, traffic heavy around Norfolk and Virginia Beach, but not near as bad as it has been in years past.  It’s been two years since I’ve been here.  The last time we were here was with all of Chad’s family and ours for the wedding of Chad and Amy on the beach.  Her brother Joel married them, Emma was maid of honor, Chad’s brother Gabe, best man.  It was a beautiful wedding, and we all spent a week here sharing a house that slept18 people. The wedding was held on July 4^th on a private spot on the beach, lighthouse in the back ground.  I was on the same beach this evening.  I remembered what a special time it was.

Today was Pete’s first trip to the beach.  *photos to follow*  He’s been an incredible dog.  Lilly is an old hand at beach life.  You can tell she is my dog. First thing she wanted to do was run and jump in the waves. She knows how to jump them and swims in them like an old pro! I’ve trained her well! J Walking out on the beach meant so much to me.  I don’t always realize what a stressful life I live.  Until I get away to the tranquility of the place I believe is home.  There’s one other place I call home, and for the life of me I can’t really imagine how that would be for “him” to be here with me.  In a melancholy sort of way I wonder to myself if that could ever be?  So I close my eyes and try to visualize it for a moment.  And the breeze blows my hair, and the meditative music plays and for a moment I am taken into a beautiful place as I do imagine.

I have just been joined by 2 women.  Older than me, by a bit.  One is quite a bit older, she is watching her daughter, older than me too, swim.  The daughter is laughing,  “I haven’t swam at night in years!”  She is expressing her joy in laughter.  She must feel as if she is away from the stress of her life too.  My mood and dream of the moment broken as I listen and watch her swim and become so carefree as she floats on her back. *breaks* She has just come and introduced herself.  She is from Ashville, NC.  Telling me of her dream to visit Ocracoke Island, she made her dream come true today.  “A friend gave me a book on Ocracoke Island when I was 9. I always wanted to go there!  Today, I did!” She tells me in complete harmony. “It’s a perfect ending to what has been a perfect day.”  She adds.  “Am I breaking your concentration?” She then asks.  I smile, “No, not at all.”  Her 91-year young momma, as they just told me, asks me,  “So are you writing a great American novel?”  “As a matter of fact I am in the midst of writing a book.” I explain.  They both get really excited and of course want to know what it’s about.  For a moment I feel really inspired by my aspirations to complete this in my life.  “It’s a story of soul mates.  The journey of.  To find out if it is real in the end.”  I begin to explain.  They both look at me as if I am a bit out there, but seem intrigued.  I suppose they wouldn’t be in the market to read my book, but on the other hand I think, perhaps at 91, momma somewhere along the way met her soul mate?  Did he disappear into the night one time never to be found again?  Or did she never experience the incredible intensity of what a soul mate  brings?  We talk for a few minutes before they go back to their room in this old hotel court.  “Nice to meet you!”  They tell me in their heavy southern accents.  “Yes, likewise!”  They wish me good luck as they disappear.

Soon, the owner of the hotel comes to lock up the pool. I plead my case for inspiration and ask him if I can lock up the pool.  He agrees to my request *so grateful* and tells me I’m in charge of the pool until I lock it up! I thank him.  He knows I’ve had a hard time getting on line in my room since I checked in.  I never to complained, figuring I would just sit on the bench outside his office when I needed to get on line.  After he leaves me to continue writing in the pool area, he shortly comes back out.  He has plugged the router in on the pool deck, and tells me to take it into my room tonight. That way I won’t have a problem getting on line.  Wow!  What service is this?! I think my lesson here is that by not complaining, life is bringing to me a reward of trusting in things that I before would have been upset about and thrown a fit over.  Lately, I don’t want to be that way. In return, I am learning a nce lesson as the breeze blows and I feel free and tranquil.

On the trip down we stopped at a gas station just inside the North Carolina line.  As I made my way out of the ladies room I felt swarmed by so many people. As I turned a corner, another lady came around and just as she did, she fell. Right in front of me!  I tried to catch her but couldn’t.  She landed on the floor, shaken.  A man rushed over to help her, as did I.  She said she had “fibro myalgia” and that her legs had given out on her.  She had a little girl with her, I’m guessing about 4 years old.  The poor little thing!  She started screaming afraid for this woman.  I believe it was probably her grandma.  She threw her arms around her as we tried to get the lady up, making it harder.  And the little girl screamed and cried! Don’t ask me why but I began to tear up myself.  The love this little girl must have had for this lady was felt and heard in her screams and the tight way she held onto her neck.  What was it about that moment that made me want to break out crying myself?  Sometimes I don’t understand the deep emotions I feel.  Once we got the lady back on her feet and made sure she was okay, I went on my way, chocking tears all the way through the very heavily crowded store.  Once I got back in the car and tried to figure out why I had to fight tears back in there, the only answer I could find was how scared this little girl was and how important her mah maw must be to her.

Then I thought of Jason.  I miss my son. Hubby by now had gotten himself a 6 pack and began to drink. This left me driving the remainder of the way. I thought to myself, this is vacation, if this is how he wishes to spend his vacation then I need to keep my mouth shut.  And I drove and I thought of Jason. I thought of wanting Joel and Emma with Drew here too. And of course Amy and Chad and Skylar.  But life isn’t handing these options to me right now.  Life has changed in so many ways. I’m getting better with the changes for sure….still, sometimes I reflect back.  And sometimes I reflect forward too. And life is just everything in between the two for me right now.

Once we arrived and got checked in, I found the hotel to be ancient.  Something I guess you could compare it to would be Bates Hotel from “Psycho.”  A definite 40s or 50s style.  It’s very clean tho.  And they accept pets and considering I am almost on the ocean the price is very reasonable. It’s an adventure.  As I said earlier, I am most impressed with the owner. A small mom/pop hotel, he is going out of his way to make sure I am being accommodated.  The pool is beautiful too!  Not quite sitting on the ocean tonight as I’d love to be doing, but I couldn’t be writing there either.  The sand would tear up my laptop! I go there, get inspired, then come to the pool and write.  Ocean breeze blowing!!

I was SO excited!  I found a surf shop as we drove in that does hair wraps.  So, first thing was the beach! (Photos to follow)  Then I headed to the surf shop and got my hair wrap! I am like Sampson, his strength came from his long hair. A hair wrap to me makes me feel creative.  Don’t ask me why?  I got my first one in 2003 when I took off by myself to Ft. Myers.  My friend Joanie talked me into it. I loved having one so much I get them now whenever I can.  I haven’t had one since I had an MRI last fall on my shoulder when the MRI facility made me cut it out because of the metal beads.  Now, I have one again!!  The lady that did my hair wrap is from Israel. We had a great conversation in her broken English.  “You’re from where Jesus is from!”  She laughs,  “Hey, I’m Jewish! But he was born in my country.”  I laughed.  How cool was that?!  Israel is the one country I would SO love to visit!  She was giving me the ins on where to go over there.  Me? I just want to walk the path of where Jesus was.  It’d be so cool to me!  She did a great job and I walked out feeling creative.

Guess it’s time now for me to lock up the pool. *smiles*  Already I have made friends and feel a part of the place and I’ve been here maybe 5 hours?  It will be a good week.  But then, being in the Outer Banks to me is good. Always!

Tomorrow it is to the beach most of the day.  I will dream. I will be tranquil. I will get inspired to write tomorrow night.  And I will feel so blessed that God has given me the opportunity to be here. On this journey I walk.  A journey of faith.  Thanks for sharing it with me…………

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight-

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  So, not so many negative thoughts today as yesterday. But you know, the soul mate journey does this to me!  One day up, one day down.  I guess being here, in this place of complete tranquility, I can be so quiet in my head and my mind, and just feel that which flows from within.  Do you have ANY idea how much you are there?  I so wish you did. I was sitting on the bench outside the hotel office a bit earlier and looked up across the street at a beach store.  A man and a woman got in a car. The man could have been you! I had to do a double take!  Hair pulled back in a pony tail, I could have sworn it was you. I knew there was no way, but all the same, I gasped.  “If only!” I whispered to myself as I watched him drive away.  “If only.”  Moments later, I walked the ocean, and I closed my eyes and I sent you metal pictures.  Why do I know that out there somewhere, you are seeing me there?  You are seeing the ocean. And deep inside you whisper to yourself,  “If only.”  Why is it this way?  How will the story end?  Do I get to write the ending my way?  Because if I do!  Guess who is walking the beach with me!  Guess who is sitting by the pool with me, as the ocean breeze blows.  How many more chapters of faith my friend?  And I look up and see the endless stars and say to myself,  it doesn’t matter……..because in the end, I will understand the magic of the journey and the trust of believing in the miracle of you and me.  I send you love and light and a vision of this moment I sit in.  An ocean breeze in my hair, a gentle spirit, and a lot of love in my heart. I so pray you feel it as you read the words and touch what it is I send.  Goodnight from the ocean and tranquil peace………..Love, Sunshine