IN MEMORY OF 9-11, 2001.  To those that gave their lives unselfishly and to those that died.......to family members that go on living......May the peace of God surround you on this day of mourning for all of us.  Never forgotten........in our spirits, we do remember.

I’m just in from a late meditation hike.  Seldom do I walk when it is almost dark as I did tonight, it’s just the way the day fell.  Odd times, tho peaceful and still kind in spirit to me.

I go through periods where God seems to get my attention on certain things. Today’s lesson seemed to be, “You never know what the day is going to hold.”  Something I’ve been thinking about all day. Tomorrow, 9/11 is an example of this.  Some left that morning for work never to come home.  Some took a flight headed west, never to arrive. Some turned up at the fire stations and police stations for a normal day, whatever that may mean of work. In a flash, everything was to change and for 1000s, not to mention a nation, life would never be the same! Heros were born, miracles occured, and some were to begin completely anew as loved ones never returned home. Little did anyone know that morning they left for work. On a smaller scale, another instance, hubby’s boss! A week ago today it was just another day in the office. He had NO clue that today, a mere week later, he’d be moving out his microwave and other items he’s had there for the past however many years, now unemployed.  You just never know what is coming!  Jami, the new girl that took Elizabeth’s place, she got a call about a good friend of hers. We heard her get upset and say, “She’s at XXXX hospital now?”  She ran out.  When she got back she explained to us.  Her next door neighbor is a good friend of hers.  She’s 44 I might add. This weekend she got abdominal pain.  Being a nurse she decided to have it checked out yesterday.  They diagnosed it as pancreaticitis. But during the night her lungs began to fill with a brownish/orange fluid, by this morning she was unable to breath.  Her husband rushed her into the hospital.  Not only was her lungs shutting down, so were all her vital organs!  In order to save her they were going to have to put her in an induced coma till they could figure out what is wrong with her.  They gave her 2 hours to see loved ones and friends before putting her down to put her on a ventilator.  Jami went to see her.  “Please, make sure NO ONE sits and stares at me!”  That was her one request of her friend Jami.  What a feeling that must of been!  She is now in a coma, and on a ventilator.  Think about it, just this past Friday, before the weekend, she was fine!  Now look!  My point is, we really don’t know what tomorrow holds!  This was my lesson today.  Think about it!  You can make your plans on where you will go tomorrow, etc, but in the end…….are our days already laid out?  I have given the negative aspects of not knowing what tomorrow holds.  Life is balance! So this works in positive ways too! What about the multi-million dollar lottery winner of last week?!  Just two weeks ago chances are he/she was struggling to make ends meet. Now the whole picture changes!  There have been times in my life when suddenly everything changed the course of the direction I was walking.  So when I begin to think how life is stuck where I am, I will remember Jami’s friend, or the lotto winner, or hubby’s former boss, now unemployed.  Guess God wanted to remind me why it is so important to have faith and stay close to Him. More importantly, why I should never give up on dreams and beliefs.  Regardless of what today looks like, tomorrow it could all change.

My attitude at work was so much better today.  Busy, yes!  All the same I honored my job for what it is.  I still got really frustrated and feel as if it is so time to move on, but each day there I have decided has to be served in a lot of faith and love.  It worked.  My friend Vicki helped me out of a crisis today.  Sometimes I do make mistakes.  “Help!”  She was there, even tho I know how busy her job is!  Little gifts God plants around me all the time to make my days a bit easier.  Probably gifts I sometimes take for granted.

Leo emailed me this morning, going through her own rough times.  Who isn’t these days it seems? (Oh yeah, the lotto winner!)  Anyway, I called her when I got a chance which was a few hours later.  We talked.  “You seem so peaceful in your writings right now.  How are you doing it?” She asked in her email. I tried to share with her a bit, but I was so rushed with the craziness of the day and my job, “I’ll call you back after work.”  And I did. 

I meditated on her question all day. I know I am in the midst of feeling a lot of peace right now.  When I began to talk to her I shared with her what I had discovered about my peace.  “This may sound really, really crazy, but Leo, I am like passionately in love with Jesus.  I suppose that sounds like some cliché or something, but it isn’t!  He is SO real to me! It’s a REAL relationship like I have with you. I know Him that well!  Some days I take my eyes off of Him, and get busy and allow life to pull me away…….but when I stop and look back at Him, always with me, I find SO much peace.”  I hear silence on the phone.  “I know, I sound crazy or like I’m some huge fundamentalist or something, I’m not.  I’m just really in love with Jesus.”  “No, not at all! I think you’ve found a truth. What could be better than that?” She says in a gentle way. From there we begin a 2-hour discourse on what life is and isn’t and what is love and what isn’t!  We share, we re-live what at one time we called a soul mate journey, only these days, having been exposed to the most far-out there ideas, we run shy of calling it such.  Still, in my heart, I know without a shadow of a doubt that the one I call soul mate, IS such a strong connection within my soul! So, to stay clear of the hype of soul mate mania these days we decided to call it our “Soul Connection Journey.”  I guess what’s it matter? That which is in a name? It is the experiences it has brought us along the way.  Still, we both admit it is such a gift.  Painful along the way, but in the end, a gift.  We part knowing we will never really find answers today, but tomorrow!!  We will eventually have the answers we decide.  As I hang up I think about what God is teaching me, “You never know what tomorrow will hold!”  Those answers could flow tomorrow, or perhaps they won’t!  Right now, I’m busy dancing in the clouds with Jesus and learning SO many things. “I’m in a good place!” And geeshh……..this past Friday I was in a different place! So yeah, each day brings us something new.

The mediation hike tonight was peaceful and good. There is so much peace I am finding in the moment, in everything that I look at.  Seeing things in a new light once again as I am trusting, trusting God for so many beautiful things to come.  And tho the world around me feels anxious and heavy, I feel as if I am sheltered in a cloud of love and light.  Yet another discovery the past few days……..the peace isn’t found from without, it is found from within.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Hey you!  I still love those middle of the night hits! *she whispers thank you* When I get up in the morning to see you were here during the night, well, I am blessed beyond measure!  I did have a dream of you the other night!! *smiles*  Yeah….it was special!  Do you know I still wonder if somehow we are able to cross into one another’s dream world from time to time?  Is the connection that strong and real?  Maybe?  Questions I’ve learned not to ask these days, but to just be still and listen. The answers are found from within, right?  So if you are reading in the middle of the night, does this mean that when you are alone, and all is still, it is “me” you are thinking of?  Because if it is……..I couldn’t ask for more! *closes eyes to feel the special*  When I think about why it is I write you every night of my life, and why I started it in the first place, here is what I come up with. After we met, and this knowing in my spirit of you, I wanted you to know me.  Just me.  It seemed so impossible with the different worlds we lived in to really know one another, and yet, I so wanted you to know my heart!! Then I wanted to share with you this love I have for God. For Jesus! I guess most people wouldn’t be so brave as to do as I have, but God asked me if I’d do it one time?  Would I be His hands?  “YES!”  Was my answer! 
“Then share it with him!” I heard.  That was when I took all the risk and wrote you and told you where you could find me.  I so much wanted to share all this love and light with you. I wanted you to know my heart, and to somehow share the journey with you.  My prayers I think have been answered. Sometimes I wonder if you are going to get tired and say, “She’ll never be free.”  And sometimes I feel weary and tired and ask myself, “Will he ever give me another chance and call me again?”  But then I see you here, or you see me here, and we continue to hold on.  God keeps reminding me that we don’t know what tomorrow will hold…….There is a reason we continue to find one another and that we hold in our hearts for the other what we do.  Trust it.  Perhaps one day, when you find me again…….we will hold one another and say, “It was SO worth it.”  I’ve said it before, and am saying it again, I do believe there will come a day we will get to tell one another this. Somewhere down the road.  Could be tomorrow, could be up the road a way, but whenever or wherever, I am here! And will be anytime you want to find me in the middle of the night.  Or day! Or evening!!  My heart is only a close your eyes, touch your soul away.  And I’m here, sending you so much love and light.  Goodnight my soul connection!  And special someone!! Oh, what the heck! My twin soul!!!! *winks*  Love, Sunshine

This picture so represents what I see when I close my eyes and meditate upon Jesus.  The love, the tenderness, the strength, the easiness of His presence.  It's true, I am SO very in love with Him!!