It’s sort of late, well 10:40pm, I’ve been on the road most of the day house shopping.  Did I find it?  Yes.  Will I buy it?  Will my property sell?

The day began okay. Because the internet crashed last night I was in bed by 10:00.  I got so much sleep and felt so good! Until now, I’m ready to hit the bed again.  Then I got an email from Leo.

She was pouring her heart out. Sometimes I hurt so much for all of us that go through this twin soul stuff. I’m glad I can be there for her. I do understand after having cried so many tears myself through the years for no more reason than lack of understanding and a love so deep it tears your heart out.  But I grew through those days to understand things I never would have had it not happened to me. Therefore, I feel as if I can understand where Leo is.

When I write, I can’t explain it, but a lot of times the words flow from a much higher place. I just sit and I write and it just seems to flow.  I really believe it is a gift, because I don’t think too much when I write.  I responded to Leo’s email from that place.  Sometimes I have to read and re-read my own words as I don’t often even know them myself as I write.

Long story short what was written Leo hit her where she needed it most.  She wrote back comparing my writing sometimes to Edgar Cayce.  I’ve never thought too much about Edgar Cayce, good or bad, just that he was sort of bizarre.  But the thing is Angela, another friend has told me something similar. Not compared to Edgar, but has told me of this high calling I have.  Leo even pointed out that Edgar Cayce and I were both born on March 18.  She believes this to be symbolic.  Her words were so deep within me because of words Angela has used too.  I guess I trust both of these people to have a lot of wisdom. On my drive to the city in the backseat of “S’s” car, the words went through me.  I feel SO not anything that special to be honest, so words as Leo’s today make me feel so humble. I talked to God about it. I’m really not as assured as they are, I only know that I love to write because it comes from another place.  Her words would stay with me all day as I wondered or I’d feel so close to God. I will never believe it is anything I do, trust me, but it DOES make me draw closer to the Father because I know it is all from and of Him. I never want it to be anymore or any less.  What beautiful words she sent me to help me on my journey of trying to find the next house I will reside in.

The first house we were supposed to see was the one in the country. horse barn, animals, rustic house.  We stopped for a late breakfast/lunch on the way. We got lost and never found the house. It didn’t matter because the listing realtor was unable to meet us today anyway so we wouldn’t be able to go in the house. We decided to come back on the way home and find it then, we were running late for the next house.

This next house was probably bottom of my list of the ones I wanted to see today. It didn’t have quite ¾ acres.  But the house appeared to be beautiful, it did have a detached garage for hubby, and it had a very beautiful in-ground pool for me. It was located on a golf course, which neither of us do so that was not a bonus for us.  Dell wasn’t too thrilled about this place, it didn’t have enough land for his taste and it was in a neighborhood.  A neighborhood in the country, but a neighborhood all the same.

As we drove up it took me all of 2 seconds.  “I LOVE IT!” I screamed as I jumped out of the backseat!!!  “Hurry “S”, HURRY!”  I was REALLY excited and couldn’t wait to see the inside!  He opened up the door, I walked in and I was a goner!  A complete goner!!  This was it!  Almost like the one I thought SURE was mine awhile back, made an offer only for it to sell to someone else the same weekend after sitting empty for 2 years. I wandered off on my own.  The all-season room that overlooks the pool was my writing room. I knew it immediately!  The master bedroom has the most incredible fireplace in it!  The pool, the backyard, they were a paradise on a very quiet cul-de-sac.  Everything was perfect EXCEPT no walk-in closet in the master bedroom and the master bedroom is upstairs. I will deal with it!  The basement was incredibly big too.  I loved this house.  I walked around the pool, I looked out the kitchen sliding door overlooking the multi-level deck and pool. I could SO live here!  We were running late tho for our next appointment.  As we left I wanted to come back again.  “S” said we could since it was empty.

The next place was a mini-resort.  6-bedroom house with an elevator, YES, an elevator!  It has a beautiful pool, LARGE out building, and a fish stocked pond in the back. It too was in a neighborhood on a cul-de-sac.  The back yard overlooked a farm field so it was in the country. It sat on 1.4 acres.  From the beginning I was convinced this would be the one I would fall in love with.  Tho I was sure the one in the country would be the wise decision, considering what I think is eventually going to happen in the world.  Still I had to see this one. 

When we pulled up it didn’t feel near what the one I loved felt like. It was nice, but I didn’t have that, “This is it!” feeling.  I went in the house, same thing. It was okay, but it just wasn’t what I had felt earlier.  The grounds we all loved. If only I could have put that house earlier on these grounds!  But that didn’t seem to matter to me anyway as the one earlier was more in a wooded area, and this one was not.  Want to know the truth? I couldn’t wait to leave this one and go back to the one we saw first.

We went back. I liked it even more this time.  Hubby headed to his preconceived areas to be his, I to mine.  The house has 4-bedrooms, formal living room with fireplace, dining room, kitchen to DIE for, family room with fireplace, full basement with fireplace, 4 bathrooms, and the all-season room, which would be my writing room.  There are 4 fireplaces in all, obviously I am a fireplace person.  I bluntly told “S,”  “SELL my property!  What will it take?”  And from there I began to think.  My mood suddenly not one of talking, but thinking.  Dell even said we should buy it.  As we were standing around the pool a lady came walking over.  “S” asked her if she was the neighbor,  she said she was, but she also owned this house.  “S” introduced himself as the realtor, explaining this was our 2^nd look.  She told us her husband was a builder and had built this house.  They had lived there 20 years and then built the house next door where she lived now. They loved this area SO much because it is so quiet.  I asked her if I was floating in the pool, what were the odds I’d get hit in the head with a golf ball?  I mean all over the yard there were golf balls! She said it had never happened!  In the 20 years they lived there only one time did she have a window in the house broken. That was in 20 years!  The golf course isn’t that close, obviously, but golf balls do come barreling though, it is obvious!  This to me is a negative, “S” tells me it ups the value of the property.  Guess I can buy that because I have noticed that seems to be some sort of selling feature when I’ve been looking at homes.  She seemed nice enough, the owner, but I wondered how it’d be living next door to her since I would now be the owner of a house she lived in for 20 years and raised her children in.  I would HAVE to make it my own!  Would changes I’d make upset her?

On the drive home we did find the country home. It sure didn’t feel like what the photos looked like from the outside.  I loved the barn, but it really wouldn’t be ready for horses. I knew in my heart I had found once again the one I really wanted.  We went to dinner, I signed the papers lowering the price on my property, and we talked.

I did call Jane sometime during the afternoon.  “Hey Jane, if we bought a house on a golf course would Dan want to come visit then?”  Her hubby is an avid golfer.  She cracked up!  She asked him,  “Heck yes!”  Was his response.  “Settled then!” I joked, “I shall buy it!”

When I got home all I wanted to do was climb in the hot tub and pray under the stars and the moon.  Leo’s words to me this morning still staying with me as some sort of gift and reason to ponder on the deeper meanings. Houses are wonderful things, but I know no house will ever make me happy. Nope, happiness comes to me when I KNOW I am on the path God has set out for me.  This one feels as if He is a part of it tho…………but I guess time will tell whether I am sensing correctly or not.

With that, I think I shall close.  How will I know?  Well, the next 30 days will tell whether any of my houses sell and whether or not they accept the offer I think I am about to make them on this new house.  Everything will fall into place if this is God’s best for me, or if I still haven’t found God’s best, then the doors will close.  Know what?  Much as I would like to have this house, I’m okay if the door opens or closes. I trust God’s best, and I wouldn’t want it any other way!  Besides, if this isn’t God’s best and I’d push the river on my own to have it anyway, who knows? I might get clunked in the head from a golf ball in my swimming pool while floating!  But if it is His plan, then I will be sheltered from those flying golf balls!  I write that in humor to show that in the end, I truly do trust how He leads by opening and closing doors.  I really am not one to demand my own way.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  Missed you today!  Where are you?  You were obviously on my mind and in my heart, but then I think you know this most days.  Wish I may, wish I might, have this wish I wish tonight…………I send you love and light.  Always my friend, always. Goodnight,  Love, Sunshine