In a two-day period this is the first time I’ve had to sit and write. A whirlwind of a few days in my world.  Things continue to seem so very different for me.  Not quite out of one world, and not quite in another.  Where will it all end?  I wish I knew for sure, but I don’t so that’s opportunity for faith.

Rewind to yesterday.  I was in the pool by 7:45am and had an awesome time as I swam.  I knew I had a full day ahead of me, one that ended up not ending till around 12:30am.  Obviously, it was a long one.  I needed that spiritual time as I worked out.

After the swim I had to head to the OB GYN.  I had full intentions of going in and everything being okay, life would go on as normal.  I really didn’t think about too much other stuff, tho I did have fleeting thoughts that surgery may be suggested.  I really like this doctor. He did my hysterectomy in 1995.  I was shocked he remembered me so clearly.  “It’s been so long since you’ve seen me your records are at home in my storage barn!” He laughed.  They had me marked as a new patient, he just couldn’t figure out why. *laughs*  We talked, he looked at my recent ultra sounds, he began his diagnosis.  He really needs to go in.  I could get into all the medical jargon, but won’t.  Bottom line is this; I left with a scheduled surgery on June 15.  Depending on how extensive this gets, I will probably be out of commission for about a week, unable to lift ANYTHING for a minimum of 3 weeks.  He’s fairly sure it isn’t anything overly serious, and has promised if he gets in there and by some rare chance it isn’t looking so good, he will stop and send me to somebody else within a few days to complete the job. I will be hospitalized at least overnight. They sure don’t keep people long these days.  I feel very confident that if all of this was serious, he wouldn’t have scheduled the surgery a month out, right?

From there it was on to meet Jane for lunch. I was feeling sort of overwhelmed.  I mean I was going in a few short hours to see the house I had decided I would put an offer in on. My realtors had met with Joey and he was supposed to follow up on financing this week. This could all work out and about the time I have surgery it will be time to move. I felt overwhelmed and perhaps a bit stressed about it all. I took deep breaths and decided to just go along for the ride.  When moving time comes I have NO clue how we are going to make it. The only one we really have to help is Chad and Amy. If I am unable to lift anything, we just lost one more, me! I decided not to think about it as I waited at the table for Jane to arrive.  We had a nice lunch.  She brought me a Mothers-Day gift and a special card about being friends. I was so touched and of course felt off guard as I had brought nothing. I will make it up, when least expected I might add.

After lunch I had some errands to do, and I felt the need to be still for just a short period of time. There was a lot still going on in my head and mind.

My realtors/friends were late in arriving. Not that it mattered but we were meeting Amy and Chad and Dell in the city. We would be arriving late but I kept telling myself everything happens for a reason.

We stopped for dinner where we met Del on the way.  Amy and Chad had arrived at the house a lot sooner than we would. But then the new house is only 10 minutes from their house.  The owner/builder of the house who lives next door knew we were coming. He went over to introduce himself and let them in the house. He waited for us to arrive. He gave us all the info on the house.  It is more than impressive and I have to admit I felt comfortable with him from the beginning. He’d be our next door neighbor. I thought he was an awesome person! 

Amy fell in love with the house. This is important to me, as I feel as if it is her inheritance as well as her brothers.  I always try to remember this.  The house felt so comfortable to me. I could so see me living there. Skylar had been in the house about 45 minutes before we arrived. She was standing in the doorway when we pulled up, like it truly was home.  How special was that?  When I came in the owner/builder was telling us all about how he had done this or that. I was holding Skylar. I hadn’t seen her in 3 weeks!  I whispered, “I’ve missed you!”  She whispered back, “I miss you too.”  Yes, I turned to mush!  I asked her if she found her room as we ran up the stairs so she could show me, and you know what?  She DID in fact pick out the right room!  I do have an antique bed I will set up in this room that has hand painted lambs on it. It also overlooks the pool, of which she calls “the beach.” I chuckled at her description…….Only in my dreams I thought.  Or at least until I get the book done and if by chance it’d make it big, yeah, maybe?!

By the time we left which was well after 10:00pm, it was clear. I was ready to put an offer in. I sometimes ask myself what the heck I am doing as this place is HUGE! But Amy and Chad already had a 4^th of July party in the works being planned.  All I could think was I’m having surgery June 15……..how is this all going to work out? As we went to leave I got in the Navigator. Everyone stood outside talking. Someone finally said, “Where’s Sunshine?”  I was having a minute I just wanted to be still and listen to what I heard from within. I just needed to be quiet.

The ride home was long and yet nice at the same time.  “K,” realtor/friend rode up front with me. We had to stop along the way for Dell to get his car. “S” and he drove home together, “K” rode with me as I drove.  It was nice, we got a lot of talking in. Beyond business, talking about real life.

I didn’t get in bed till almost 1:00am and had to work this morning. Right now, 11:00pm, believe me I am dragging so I will probably cut this short. I had to work this morning which means I was up at 5:30am.  At least work flew. From there I went to meet with “S.”  I signed the papers, making an offer.  I also lowered the price of my house once again in hopes to sell.  After I took the leap of faith to make the offer, I felt a sense of peace. I had done all I could do, now it is in God’s hands.

When I left 2 hours later, yes it took that long, I had a message from Jane. I went ahead and met her for lunch again today.  After our lunch I headed out to shop. This house is SO big, I’m afraid I don’t have near enough furniture. So I went and looked to see what was out there. I sure didn’t’ find a lot.  Perhaps that too is more about timing?

Tonight I have my earphones in, Reiki meditation music playing, trying to drown out “Annie.”  Marathon “Annie!”  Yup, that means Skylar rode home with her ba pa (grandpa) and is going to spend the weekend here.  Amy and Chad will come Sunday to pick her up.  It’s been so long since she’s been here. We’ve had a wonderful time thus far. Tomorrow she and I are going to shop and go swim at the health club. They’re putting a new roof on my house tomorrow so she and I need to get out of the way.

Not a lot of intense writing tonight. I’m too tired to really feel too much emotion. Or perhaps God is so in the center of everything I am going through at the moment I just have a lot of peace. Yeah, I think that is it. I know at this point I simply have to trust. For healing, for timing, for a heart that longs so desperately to be following Him and His plans, and for a heart to love with all of her heart those things called to be in her life.  In the end I really do believe it’s not about the house, if all of this works out, but it’s about where God is leading me because I believe there are people there I am meant to meet. Obviously I still remain seeing things so much different than  most of the world, but I guess that’s just because I’m still just me.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

Sunshine

Goodnight Soul Mate:  As I’ve always said since I met you, you never have to worry if you don’t see me near, or think about what I am doing in my life, because you are and have always been a part of my heart, long before I even knew you! I still look at the millions of people in the world, MILLIONS and BILLIONS and of all those people, you are the one.  I’m so tired, so very tired………but in this moment I feel you so near. I still touch you when I close my eyes. I wish I could keep them closed, because then I get to see you.  I send you love and light. I really have to go to bed, kay?  Goodnight -  Love, Sunshine