Sunday, June 28, 2009 10:04pm

It’s Sunday night. I haven’t written in my journal since Tuesday night. In a way I wish I had so I wouldn’t have so much to write tonight, but life has kept me consumed in other ways these days. Like spending too much time on facebook! Or running endlessly to keep busy.  And then there’s that, “I just needed to be still moments “ I’ve had the past few days. All made it so that I couldn’t even bring myself to write, here.

Tuesday was the last night I wrote, I think?  So what do I write of first? I guess I’ll begin with the biggest thing happening in my world and that is the sale of my property.

I had given a deadline to the potential buyers to purchase the property of Wednesday or else I was going to not offer my blue light special.  Wednesday came. Their realtor wrote late in the day saying she was too busy to meet with her clients to get an offer in and that the seller (me) would just have to wait until Friday, as she was too busy with out-of-town clients.  Oh, I was ready to raise the price then and there but you know me!  Good ole’ Sunshine, having way too much compassion for my own good sometimes!  “Okay, I’ll wait!  But I’m tempted to raise the price $1000 per day!” I threatened to my realtor.  After a year, she’s learned how to handle me, which means she’s really a good realtor.  So here I go, I have to wait two more days! 

On Thursday I was okay. I went to lunch with Jane, then Elizabeth was coming for dinner with the girls. We were going to celebrate Donna’s and Linn’s birthday.  When Elizabeth arrived it was good. She too is going through this selling, buying thing, now moving to upstate NY!  We could sit and talk and share our woes.

Dinner with the girls was as always very wonderful.  This time was so relaxed as it felt as if we had never really separated ways. I had a wonderful time!  Our favorite waitress had made arrangements to have us as her table which made the evening all the more special.  We laughed, we talked, we caught up…………..it made the time fly before getting what was supposed to be my asking price offer on Friday.  I was glad for the company and good time.

Here is a photo of all of us.  The first photo is the 5 of us, the 2^nd one we asked our favorite server to join us!  She is SO awesome, we are all convinced she could just be a part of our group!

Now it’s Friday.  I have to work in the morning, then Elizabeth and I would go to lunch. Jane was invited too.  Work was good. Our summer camp program ended on Friday with a reception and closing presentations by the urban high school campers.  I was glad it was over!   I was more glad I was off at 11:00!  I headed out to get Elizabeth for lunch.  I knew she had to get back to Toledo later as she herself had all sorts of real estate happenings going on.  Her husband “G” was driving in from upstate NY even as we were going to lunch or so I thought.  When I got home I found they were in crisis!! “G” who had worked all night ran back to his apartment, changed clothes quickly, and headed out on the 7-hour drive.  When he got to the first toll booth, about 80 miles from where he lives, he went to pull out his billfold, only to realize, he had forgotten to put it in his pocket when changing clothes!  Here he is, stuck in Buffalo, NY, no money, no ID, no toll booth letting him in, and 80 miles from home when he needs to be to Toledo in a few hours! Oh, and let us NOT forget that he hasn’t slept all night!  Elizabeth was beside herself!  I came up with the idea that we could Western Union him the money!  “G” headed for the first Western Union place he could find, we got online to make the wire transfer.  It’s supposed to be so easy these days with the internet, right?  WRONG! *rolls eyes* In the meantime I call Jane to explain why we can’t go to lunch “yet” only to find she is having her own crisis with her washing machine amongst other things.  She’s not going to go to lunch now, which was probably a good thing as we aren’t sure when we will be ready.

Back to our Western Union story………….After struggling 40 minutes just trying to register, we get it all done, Elizabeth’s card number entered and everything completed only to get a message that it can’t accept our order, we had to call customer service!  So Lizzie calls. Of course she gets a man with a heavy accent as the offices are in India!  She tries to get it all worked out but there is a major glitch!  She is required to have a land line, not a cell phone in order for it to be accepted.  “But I’m at my friends house in another state, my husband is stuck away from home too without his billfold!” She tries to explain. Of course we try to give the guy my land line number, but he refuses it, it has to be a phone in HER name!  WHATEVER!!  So we have to take off for our local Western Union place.

I get on line, find one about 7 miles from here and we take off.  It’s located in one of those super-centers that abounds in our town these days.  The line for the service counter is backed up about 5 deep!  So we wait, and we wait.  In the meantime “G” is waiting in his own grocery store somewhere in freaking Buffalo. If it wasn’t so hot, and  it wasn’t so annoying, it might have been funny, but I don’t think Elizabeth and I thought about laughing at this point.  She fills out the “sending” form while I hold her place in the forsaken line.  Finally our turn!  She gets it all taken care of and goes to pay by credit card, as she didn’t have the cash, ONLY to discover………..they won’t take credit cards!  Cash ONLY!  There’s an ATM over there, the lady points.  Elizabeth doesn’t have a pin set up on her credit card to get cash, nor does she have a debit card for her checking/savings account.  “G” will just have to go back to his apartment and we’ll have to fax the forms back and forth.”  I told her not to do that!  I went ahead and pulled out of my savings account the money and let her write me a check.  Whew!  Thank heavens we could do that!  Now it was back to the line, and waiting once again to finish our transaction!  And we waited and we waited.  Finally!  Elizabeth hands the clerk the cash now, she goes to her machine, gets the transaction number for Elizabeth to give “G.”  Whew!  We think it’s all handled as we are walking back out into the extreme heat.  She calls “G” who is standing at the counter where he is.  “Um Lizzie, they won’t give me the money cause I don’t have ID?!”  “WHAT?!!” I hear Elizabeth scream!  “Well go to the car and give them your registration from the car!”  In the meantime we stop, wondering if we are going to have to go back in and wait in the line until we can get the clerk to help us on our end.   “G” got the registration but to no avail………..”No driver’s license, no money!”  He’s told. 

So back in the store go Elizabeth and I.  By now it is comical, as we realize time is ticking so I don’t focus on my own issues of waiting for an official offer.  We wait in the line, again.  And we wait.  Finally, it’s our turn, again.  We explain our dilemma to the clerk who tries to fix it but can’t.  She has to call the service center once again, in India, as she tells us this is not a pleasant and timely thing to do.  We can’t help but chuckle, we’ve already been on the phone in India once today. (And we question what is wrong with the economy in the US!)  And we wait as she tries to explain her dilemma to someone who obviously is not real clear of English speaking.  Test question! Is the solution!  We must come up with a test question for “G” to answer and that will be his ID.  The clerk says, “Give me a question only your husband will know the answer to!”  Elizabeth, obviously overwhelmed now by all of this is stumped,  “Elizabeth, just ask what your maiden name is!”  Everyone likes this idea.  So she gives her maiden name to the clerk, who gives it to the man in India, who will call it into some clerk in Buffalo, all so “G” can get the money we had sent 45 minutes earlier!  This process took another 10 minutes.  What a freaking nightmare!  After about 2 hours of trying to get poor “G” money, he finally got his money in hand.  Not that I want to grumble, but am I alone or can everyone else see the complete lunacy of all of this? *sighs*  And BTW…how many people have land lines these days?  The only reason I do is because of my internet service, it’s required by Verizon.

So now we go off to have a nice lunch. And we do.  We come home, Elizabeth is going to head out, she should arrive back in Toledo about the same time “G” does. I am now left alone to wandering thoughts and waiting for the clock to tick. It’s 4:00pm, SURELY they will make their offer by 5:00!  I mean it’s Friday night, who is going to do business at night on a Friday?  I think to myself these people have had a full year to think about this………….are they going to blow us off again after 7 showings lasting well longer than 2 hours each?!  Ugh!  I am quickly going into pity party mode.

By the time Dell walks in, after 6:00pm I have heard nothing.  Everything in my life is wrong now and I begin to cry.  I’m so tired of the battles! I’m so tired of being let down!! I’m so tired of their realtor who for whatever reason doesn’t like my property and does NOT want them to buy it so she sabotages when she can. Like refusing to get together with them on Wednesday, which was my deadline for offering them the special.  After sending my realtor an email, which was forwarded to me that they would make an offer of special price on Friday, here she did it again, she just seemed to not have time to “get to it!”  I’m mad, I’m more hurt.  Why are people so cruel to one another in business deals?  Why do people treat one another the way they do these days?  There’s really nothing I can do short of raising the price, and really in today’s market, who’s going to turn away from a prospective buyer? It seems to me she is going to get away with her crap.

I’m devastated. Ever notice how one disappointment leads into thinking about other areas of your life too and before you know it you have a raging forest fire happening in the sphere of your being on how everything is wrong?!  Ugh!!! I was at my limit and I was falling apart now.

So I did what I always do when I can’t take anymore. I went outside and I walked!  I walked and I walked and I cried out to God on the way and I sobbed and I felt sorry for myself, and just had an old-fashioned, “I know I’m being selfish Lord, but I have to get it all out” moments.  After about 1.5 hours of walking I was through. I had gotten it all out and I figured that God surely had a plan in mind. And yes, the whole time He kept assuring me this would come, but I had some more growing to do.

It’s now 9:30pm, Friday night.  No calls from my realtor, no emails either.  They did not go through as promised.  It’s okay tho. I feel better and am quickly going into plan B again.  10:00pm my cell phone rings. It’s probably Amy or Jane, they’re going about as crazy as I am with all of this.  NO! It’s my realtor!! They had JUST emailed her the “official” offer!  “I’m not sure I want to do business with that realtor!” I tell my realtor.  She calms me down, she convinces me I am taking this personal and it is business. She makes sense, and believe it or not, I listen.  The offer isn’t all that bad, but they are asking for some expensive things that there is no way I will do. Not at the basement bargain price I’m accepting. I have until Monday at noon to think about it.  “Yeah, they will get it Monday at 11:59am!” I tell my realtor.  As I hang up tho I soften.  Since when did 2 wrongs make a right?

I wake up Saturday morning. I’m in a good and calm mood. I talk to my realtor in the city to update her. She gives me some advice I like.  I call my realtor ready to counter offer, I know what I must do!  I give her my counter offer, along with a 24-hour deadline for them to respond to my counter.  That would be today at 1:00pm.

Dell and I went to the city, picked Amy up and we did what I call drive- bys.  A drive-by is where we find houses we think we might like, and drive by them before every requesting a showing. It saves time!  Out of 5 houses yesterday, we eliminated 4 and found ourselves back to the one we’ve wanted now for about a month.

We dropped Amy off and rushed home for a party last night. My friend Sydney’s son Ryan was turning 21.  Ryan is down syndrome.  They figured his 21^st birthday will be his major event for a long time to come so they did it right!  Ryan LOVES karaoke!   So that was the theme for his party!  He had all of his Special Olympics friends with him, and they all loved the singing too.  We had a great time, ALL of us!!! We sang the night away, laughed, joked, and just had a great time!

Today it was back to waiting to see if they accepted my counter offer, or if they would counter again.  I thought the deadline was up at 1:00, but my realtor had given them till 6:00pm.  I was very calm today, I’m still feeling calm from my outburst with God on Friday and feeling I was filled with peace.  I ended up heading to the pool where I swam laps for awhile and floated into oblivion.  Around 4:30 I called my realtor.  Nope, no offer had been accepted nor countered again, but she had talked to their realtor who had a few more questions.  It seemed a good sign.

6:00pm came, and 6:00pm went.  So did 7, 8, 9, 10, and in 3 minutes it will be 11:00pm.  But you know, I am still so very calm with all of this and okay no matter the outcome!  I have a feeling that of which I was meant to learn through all of this was learned on Friday.  I honestly think I have REALLY let it go this time.  What is meant to be will, what isn’t won’t, and I know in my heart I have done all I could to be fair to those people wanting to buy my property.  I was fair in business and I have continued with compassion in my heart. No one can ask anymore of me. God knows my heart and I believe in the end, He will give me full understanding of why I had to endure 2 years of trying to sell facing some of the things I have. Till then, it’s called faith.

Along with all of this I have so many other things going on in my heart as well, but my fingers are tired, and so am I so I will leave it at that for now.  I know one thing for sure,  I am REALLY, REALLY finally coming to learn about me; for the first time I think in my life I am starting to like me.  I’m not talking narcissism  or anything like that, but being okay with who I am and the way God made me.  I’m not sure I ever even realized I was always wishing I was some other way than what I am…………………..so it feels so good to finally, be me.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight,

~Sunshine

Beginning now, this is my new theme song!!!!!!!

Enjoy......................