Once again I can say, “FINALLY!”  A moment to sit and reflect and touch all that is within me, or however that goes.

The weekend has been non-stop.  Again.  Sunday night now upon me I actually feel as if Dell and I both have made great progress.  We still have one storage unit half full, having totally emptied the first one we rented, and half of the 2^nd one.  Amy and Chad’s garage continue to be filled with our stuff in their garage, but here, in the new house, we have emptied enough boxes now to at least get one car in the garage.  This is a MAJOR accomplishment since Friday!

For the most part the living room is pretty much done with all the wall hangings in place. When I look at it to my right from the breakfast nook, it does look like one of those country craft stores.  It feels warm and cozy with a fireplace that is really very cool in architectural design and very rustic in nature. I realize now why I had such vision when I first stepped into this house back in May.  And really, the way it all fell together, including the price I was able to purchase it for, I know that God hand-picked it for me. That seems very reassuring to me as I continue to “test my wings” and ability to fly free from all that I have known.

It’s back to work tomorrow. I’ll try to leave by 6:00am, be at work between 7:30 and 8:00am, work 8 hours, wait to hear if Jane wants to come home with me so she and I can hang out on Tuesday, then she’ll ride back with me on Wednesday, and then it will be the 1.5 hour trip home, actually lasting a bit longer with traffic. For now it is good to have a job.

Speaking of which, the company Amy works for, and where Jason now works after his sister helped him get on, is getting ready to hire. I have a good chance to get a job there. While I won’t go into detail I can say it would be working with the military in a capacity of assistance.  I’m not sure I can say I’d love the job, but it pays fairly well, and is in the city.  It’d be 40 hours which I’m not sure I’m ready to do that, but for now a job is a job in otherwise tough times to find one. I have applied at a couple school systems, but I know that school jobs are scarce and it’s often who you know not what you know.  I am fortunate that the “Policy Aid” to the Lt. Governor in our state of whom I have worked with through the university for over a year now has told me to use him as a reference. He does in fact work with several schools in the area………….but still, it’s tough to get into these jobs.  So yeah, Amy’s offer looks pretty good. I’d probably have a couple months off as I’d need to clear governmental security clearance which takes awhile.  Guess if anyone is hiring these days it’s government. Beggars can’t be choosy! I’ll email her my updated resume as soon as I finish journaling.

My kids continue to think they have to babysit Dell and I, or perhaps it’s been so long since they could just “come” see us, having lived 70 miles away for so long, I think they like it. It seems someone is always here these days. Jason and Susie love the hot tub, so I know I will see more of them. Skylar loves staying here over night, and was sad when I told her I had to work all day tomorrow when she asked to stay tonight. I guess I could have taken her to school but I didn’t want to  do that at 6:00am, even if it is only 12 minutes from here.  She can stay later in the week when I am off the next day and we can spend time together as we did this past Thursday and Friday.

As Dell and I were going through boxes this afternoon I came upon all of my maternal grandmother’s memories.  Apparently my mom and dad had safeguarded them.  I saw pictures and photos of people I didn’t even know I was related to.  The history of my grandmother became alive before me as I skimmed her memories and photos of days gone by.  Then I came upon the paternal side of memories.  Yearbooks dating back to 1919 were found!  Apparently Dell came upon all of these in the outbuildings as we packed, and today was my turn to look and see.  Wow.  These yearbooks purchased almost 90 years ago still remain in the family, now tucked away in a cedar storage chest we’ve placed in the garage for my kids to one day find. It made me think about how fleeting life is, here today, gone tomorrow, discovered some years later by ancestors you never even knew would exist. Needless to say for me, it had my mind pondering beyond belief.  Then I came upon the box filled with photos of my brother who died in 1987.  Pictures of him from when he was a very little boy, or photos of my mom and dad, my brother and I when my parents were much younger than I even am now.  They’re all gone, except me.  Where are they?  Can they see?  I think at one point I even sort of cried as I remembered my yesterdays, being little and the innocence of who I once was. I missed my parents and the security I always felt with them.  I carefully wrapped these photos in big envelopes or bubble wrapped those that were in old frames and placed them in the storage chest. I took a deep breath, realized that life is so fleeting I need to make sure I find the greatest meaning of it that I can while I am here and still able to embrace the vastness of it all.

And with those deep thoughts, a tired body that is unable to get into the hot tub due to a steady rain falling, I think I shall close so I can get that resume emailed to Amy, and then to bed.  5:15am will come early, then a 1.5 hour drive with a full day in front of me, I think I better assure myself a good night sleep.

As the faith, love, and light lead me on.

Goodnight~

Sunshine

GNTS:  Vastness and fleeting.  Words that remind me of what this life really is in the end. I will always be so glad that I did finally find you, even if it was only to be reminded, or awakened, or assured that all I knew from the time I could remember looking for that someone I knew I had to find, one day was found. I know life is full of decisions we make.  I suppose if there was ever a chance to have made it work with you in this lifetime I didn’t make those decisions……….I know that perhaps in the end I did make the right choices tho.  See, life is fleeting and if I really believe what it is I think I do believe, before I know it we will see one another again and I will finally fully understand what it was all about.  I honestly believe this to be true, so I live life seeking greater understanding, feeling you throughout the day, like a connection that will never be broken, and I grow in gentleness and peace as I trust.  Forever trusting in love.  Have a beautiful tomorrow. ~just me.